Deciphering Your Wife 101

Not that I know any of this from personal experience, but... Men, take note!

She says:

"Does this outfit look ok?"

You say:

Option A: It really does - tell her so.  In fact, make a big deal about how great she looks.

Option B: It is not your favorite, but she clearly likes it and/or is running late - tell her it looks good.

Option C: She is not in a hurry AND adds "you can tell me the truth" or "I really want your honest opinion" - tell her you don't love it, but that she can pull it off if she really wants to.

Option D: Her butt is hanging out/she looks like a porn star/she might lose her job if she wears it to work - just say "your butt is hanging out/ you look like a porn star/ you might lose your job if you wear that to work."  Some women just need to be told.

Note: Under NO circumstances do you say a woman looks fat.  Even if Option C or D apply.

Credit

P.S.  I've got a little Bachelor of the Week action in store for you tomorrow... Get ready!! :)

Midweek Confessions

Thanks for bearing with me this morning and for your comments reminding me that I'm not alone.  I really do feel better after just putting the truth out there.  Amazing how freeing confession is.

With that in mind, here are the rest of my confessions for the week:

- Since we started solid foods and one bottle of formula per day, Sam's diapers have become a whole new ballgame.  I'm pretty sure every outfit he has had on his body (at least three per day) in the last week have giant brownish/yellow stains up the back.  I simply cannot do a load of laundry every time there is a "leak."  Also, his room might kind-of smell like poop. (That's right. I'm starting this party off right... with a little poop talk.)

- I just can't stop watching The Bachelor.  I love it too much.  I feel the same way about it that I do about cheetos -- I know they are fake and bad for me, but they are just so darn good.

- I'm serious about thank-you notes. (See this post.)  But, it is the first of February and I STILL have not finished writing my Christmas notes.  Speaking of which, Aunt Delores, thank you SO much for giving Sam the two adorable outfits back in January.  He wears the sweet little lambie one all the time (pay no attention to the above poop confession), and we can't wait to show off his green Polo duds for St. Paddy's Day.  *Yes, I just used my blog to write a thank you note.  I could have at least had the courtesy to send an email. Who am I?

- My poor dog is SO dirty.  She has a giant knot of fur and dirt and god-knows-what-else behind one of her ears.  And, her filthy hair is literally TAKING OVER my house.  She is getting shaved tomorrow.  It's been an unseasonably warm winter, ok?  The appointment is already made.

- Recently, after I go through Sam's entire "night-time routine," I'm totally exhausted myself and have to go to bed.  I'm pretty sure some friends stopped by on Sunday night to visit (Addy went crazy at the door), but left because all the lights were out in the house.  It was no later than 8PM.

- I am getting an iphone SOON.  This is the highlight of my life right now.  Sentence two is my confession.

Ok ladies, fess up! 

Grab the button and link up your Midweek Confessions post below!

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I get a little jealous sometimes

I typed up this whole post last night as my Midweek Confession post, but then decided it was too serious...  Either way, it is a confession (see title), and I do want to share it... So here goes.

I've never really considered myself a jealous person; but recently, that ugly little bug has been really sneaking into my brain.  (Sick!  Bugs in the brain?  Jealousy is NOT pretty folks.)

A lot of my jealousy stems from being a part of the blog world.  See, by nature, people that blog like attention.  (I'm sorry if that sounds like a stereotype - I'm sure there are some people out there who blog and truly don't like attention... But, if that's the case, I'm kind-of confused about why you don't just journal.) I like attention.  I'm sure that confession doesn't come as a surprise to anyone that knows me.  I've always been a bit of a performer if you will.  Anyway, attention seeking was not  my primary reason for starting a blog (or for continuing it for that matter), but I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't admit that it is an "added bonus" I quite enjoy.  The attention, that is... The idea that people like reading what I write.  That people think I am funny, or likeable, or a decent writer.  Look, "Words of Affirmation" is my love language - and blogging is like an IV of that drug on most days. :)

BUT, when you find even just a little bit of your identity in something like blogging, it leaves a lot of room for ugly things to get in there too.  I play the comparing game a lot.  Facebook used to be the culprit, but now I think it is really more blogs.  That person always looks SO cute - you can't even tell she had a baby.  I wish my house looked more like hers.  I wish I had the money to decorate like she does.  I wish I could stay home and be as organized as her.  Her kids wear the best clothes - Sam just wears footsie pjs most days.  I must be a bad mom because my baby hasn't hit the milestones that her's has.  And even... The really ridiculous ones like: Her blog has WAY more followers than me.  What has she done that's made her blog grow so fast?  If I didn't work, I could have a better blog like theirs.  Why do people want to sponsor her blog and not mine?  My blog would probably be a lot bigger if I was a better photographer and posted more pictures like she does. Etc. etc. etc.

Shoot... Yesterday when a blogger I read & admire (who, to my knowledge does NOT know my blog at all and certainly was not privy to my private email conversations about the "Little Mister" baby shower I'm co-hosting in a few weeks) posted photos from a shower she threw with a "Little Man" theme,  I was kind-of pissed.  I can't compete with her shower.  I probably won't even blog about ours anymore... It's been done now.  How CRAZY is that?  See... I've got it bad.

Jealousy is nasty, and I'm NOT proud of this confession. 

But, I think it is something most of you can at least sort-of relate to. (I wrote a little bit about this in another MC post, and many of you commented that you understood.) 

Why do women do this to themselves?

The community that I love being a part of and have made so many connections and, really, friends, through... The community that makes me feel "normal" and "understood" so often.  That same community makes me feel bad about myself some days.  Paralyzes me into not being able to write ANYTHING.  That stinks. 

This (jealousy, comparing, etc.) is a battle I've been fighting (we've been fighting) for a LONG time.  If it's not one thing - a boyfriend, a husband, a better job, a bigger house, a better cook, a more popular blog - it's another. 

So... I'm confessing it today.  I'm looking that ugly little stinker right in the face and admitting that I've let it control my thoughts and feed me lies for too long.  Then, I'm moving on.  

I'm NOT looking for more affirmation (not today anyways), so please don't leave me a comment doing that (seriously).  I just want to put it out there.  I want to start the conversation out loud that we have in our head too often. Let's talk about it.  Let's relate.  And then, let's let go of it. 

*The real (much more light-hearted) Midweek Confessions post will be up this evening, please come back. :)