Madame General Tso

Introducing... Tso Chen.




This is Howard's new puppy/ Addy's new friend.

I think she looks a bit like Golom from Lord of the Rings... But I like her a lot.
Howard's brother Tzu (Tso is named after him) found the little pup in Raleigh last week, so the verdict is still out on her origin -- I'm guessing Boxer - Great Dane mix. What do you think? Either way, she is a girl of the street.

In honor of the new pup, I am eating Chinese tonight.

Brown rice and vegetables only, of course.

Day 15 - Check
Day 16 - Check
Day 17 - **Pray for me tonight as we bake 1,000 cookies at our house for Bible Study. (Literally.) I'm so close.

Birth Control

Don't worry... this isn't a graphic post. :)

Last night, Jeff and I babysat for a friend's four kids - ages 2 months to 8. It was wild. Despite one minor (and messy) poop incident, I was in heaven all night; and Jeff's facial expressions & candid comments only added to my joy! :)

I learned a lot about my husband's future parenting style from this endeavor.

Jeff's motto:

"When all else fails... Give up."

Can't get the kids to go to bed - ok - just stay up and watch TV instead.

Can't handle the smell of a dirty diaper - ok - just hold baby at arms length and wait for wife.

Can't decide on just one bedtime story - ok - we'll read all 27.

(Perhaps I should have suspected this about Jeff from last summer when we "lost" another friend's two puppies and Jeff walked the neighborhood for all of 30 minutes before declaring it a "lost cause.")

I tried to encourage Jeff with subtle comments like "You are great with them!" Or "the baby likes you..." but he just said: "STOP trying to make me want to have a baby!" Haha. He's on to me.

So this might have been the most natural form of birth control ever for Jeff, but at the end of the night, the sight of my husband curled up in bed with a sleepy toddler reading Bible Stories... I can't wait!

(One week to go... still going strong.)

What Not to Wear

Last night I chaperoned the Homecoming Dance at the high school where I teach. I had the perfect job of collecting tickets - i.e. the "Joan Rivers" of the dance where I could see all the dates, outfits, etc. before the kids actually walked the red carpet. As a result, I have decided to create a Top 10 List of WHAT NOT TO WEAR TO HOMECOMING from my "research" last night. Here goes:

10. Rainbow colored animal prints. (Neutral is wild enough - I promise.)
9. Tiaras (I thought this would go without saying, but no, the tiara is still alive and well.)
8. Matching dress & hair color duos.
7. Nude Hose. (a. In September; b. With open-toed shoes; c. EVER)
6. Backless dresses WITH a regular bra.
5. Anything with skulls and cross-bones.
4. Gang bandanas coming out of the pocket of a suit jacket.
3. Mini skirts pinned up on one side to reveal very "un" mini legs.
2. Midriff anything - hello 1999.
1. Sticky boobs that can be SEEN through the "keyhole" on your dress.

Just a little friendly advice for those of you looking for something to wear to your next formal event. :)

P.S. Day 13 = Check

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater!

Yep, today I am decorating for Fall AND... yesterday, I cheated! (There I confessed.)

Day 9 - Check
Day 10 - Check
Day 11 - Check
Day 12 - 1 Diet Dr. Pepper in a moment of weakness
Day 13... back on track.

If you are Jeff, you think the whole 21 Day Challenge is ruined. If you are me, you think it was just a minor bump in the road. (After all, it was 0 calorie and I have broken my caffeine addition... It could have been a lot worse. I could have eaten one of the massive Cinnamon Buns that Jeff just had to eat while we were watching "The Biggest Loser" this morning on Hulu.)

So if you want to see the glass half empty, call me a failure. But this is still game on as far as I'm concerned. I have only a little over one week left to go... I will make it!


P.S.
Addy got sprayed by a skunk on Thursday night. This was after the longest day of my life decorating the hallways for homecoming for the "Jamaican Juniors." All I wanted was to sit back with a glass of 100% real fruit, no sugar, Cranberry Juice and watch Grey's Anatomy. Then, Addy had to go outside and try to pick a fight with Pepe Le Pew. Awesome.
At the time of the spray, I was at my parents' house, so after some quick researching by Kathryn on Google, we mixed up a little concoction of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap (which we learned only AFTER dumping it all over the enclosed garage was HIGHLY explosive). After several baths (for both Addy and me - thanks to Kathryn's hosing ability) she smelled as good as new... What a night!

McAllister's Veggie Chili

This is my new saving grace! I LOVE it. In fact, last night after eating it for dinner, I ordered a to-go bowl for lunch today. Jeff accidently left it in Howard's car last night, so I worried all night about what I would eat today. THEN - surprise - this morning there it was in my fridge. *I guess Jeff and Howard remembered to get it out afterall.

The moral of the story: I used to dream about cookies. Now, I wake up thinking about chili made with carrots and stuff. I'm not sure how to handle this. Either way, I now know that my relationship with food is a little ridiculous.

Day 8 - Check!

Day 9... I'm all stocked up and in for the long haul.

Still Kicking

Day 7 - Check!

Today marks one week on the Skinny Bitch 21 Day Challenge. I am officially 1/3 of the way finished. That feels a TINY bit good, but it mostly feels like I still have a really long way to go.
My feelings about this whole thing vary from minute to minute. Some times I feel really good and like I might actually be able to make some of these changes permanently. Other times, I'm totally bored with this plan and think it is a ridiculous way to live - skinny or not. Last night we stopped at Wendy's on the way home from Chesapeake and I had to eat a completely plain baked potato because that was the absolute only thing on the menu allowed. Please compare:

VS.
There is no competition! :)

Note to Self

Day 6 is not the ideal day to run an extreme 5k; especially, when the "prize" at the end of the trail is a yummy looking hamburger. Why do these things keep haunting me? Who knew I had so many burgers in my life.

Anyway, here is an after picture from the mun run. I'm sure you can see the Skinny Bitchyness just radiating from me!



On another note, I had the pleasure of taking a road trip with my mother and sister yesterday afternoon to Chesapeake, VA for a baby shower for my dear friend Ashley. She is a hilarious pregnant. (Check out her blog at www.chipandashleysjourney.blogspot.com.) Riding in the car for four hours with the two of them is a real event... let me tell you! My mom just got a new haircut in honor of her 50th birthday coming up. She calls it "black and edgy," but it is really just short and hilarious. Kathryn made fun of her the ENTIRE trip, and eventually mom just picked up a bottle of water in the car and dumped it on her head. I loved it!

There is so much more to report from this excursion... stay tuned.

P.S. Day 6 = DONE! I weighed myself today and I haven't lost a single blasted pound! My body hates me.

In case you were wondering...

I completed day 5! I even managed to hold it together despite a cook-out at our house with blue cheese burgers, potato salad, hotdogs, and chili. (If you can't tell... I'm thinking about the food I missed out on a little bit.) Oh well - I'm feeling pretty victorious at this point! I'm going to be honest, I've already gone about four days longer than I thought I would. 21... here we come!

In between fighting food cravings, we went to a high school football game tonight. I'm convinced that there is really no better way to see the true colors of a neighborhood than to attend their high school football games. One of my students was in the front row of the student section tonight wearing nothing but crushed velvet biker shorts... that could be awkward on Monday morning. Plus, I actually heard a lady next to us threaten to charge someone with assault because her daughter got knocked down when the crowd got too wild at the end of the game. Come on people!

Anyways, I'm going to bed hungry. Goodnight.

I thought you might be getting bored...

...hearing about my eating habits on a daily basis, so I figured the Facebook post would suffice for today. Then, just now, I got a text from a friend who seemed to believe that my lack of a blog post = two cheeseburgers and Howard's cookies.

Well, I've got news for you haters. I'm still in!!!

Day 3 = check
Day 4 = check (I don't forsee a meltdown in the next two hours at least.)

A few updates:

- I went head on with Howard's cookies (which by the way were made with a BROWNIE INSIDE THEM - who's even heard of that?!?) and I WON. I even fought my desire all day today as he just "accidently" left a basket of leftovers on our counter last night. Jerk! *I know it has only been four days, but I definitely believe that the less you eat sugar, the less you crave it. There have been plenty of times in my life when I would have dreamed/thought about those cookies on my counter ALL night and then made a mad rush in weakness for them as soon as the sun came up. Whew... glad to see I'm "maturing."

- My husband has gone crazy. Despite the fact that I went grocery shopping on Sunday night to stock up on healthy food, he went again today and bought such items as: sausage biscuits, chocolate chip waffles, frozen pizza, and even - here's the real kicker - stuff to make a chocolate cake because he "just feels like baking." Oh sweet husband, thank you for your support. One day I will be the skinny one - just wait.

- I'm obsessed with peanut butter and banana on whole wheat. This is not cheating; and, if you want to argue about peanut butter with me, save it! I'm not in the mood. Its the one thing I can eat with some substance.

- My caffeine headaches have actually passed - I think. It feels pretty nice to not need caffeine in the morning. Last night, my friend Katie brought over decaf coffee for me which made me really excited UNTIL I realized I'd have to drink it black. I'm just not that devoted of a drinker. Today, I bought some french vanilla soy creamer, so we'll see how that goes.

Ok that's it for now. Only 17 days to go!! (P.S. I recommend one week for those of you interested in a "challenge." It seems a lot more manageable.)

FB is cool!

Today, we enter a new dimension in the technology era.
My father-in-law is now on facebook. Above is his new status.

Here is his profile pic. I love that it looks like he took this of himself at the computer...

If you would like to find him, search for MARSHALL Chapman. If you know him in the business field, you might recognize him as HOWARD Chapman - he has a bit of an identity crisis and goes by two different names depending on where he is.

Adult Sorority

First things first...

Day 2: Check
Caffeine Headache: Check
Day 3: Half-way there! (Tonight, I will defeat Howard the baker with my incredible will power.)

Next...
I joined an adult sorority.

Ok, it's really the Junior League of Roanoke. But, it looks a lot like a sorority; and honestly, it sounds a lot funnier that way too. The Junior League is a women's organization committed to community service and leadership. (I think, secretly, they also have something in the water that makes everyone super cute and "put together." I'm hoping it will rub off.)

This Saturday was our orientation, and last night was the first general membership meeting of the year. I'll keep you updated!

Saboteur

Day 1 - Check!

Yesterday wasn't as bad as I expected. I think it helps that I have a horrible sinus infection, so my appetite is slightly decreased and the caffeine withdrawl symptoms are disguised as a legitimate illness... either way, I made it! Only 20 days to go.

In reflecting on my first day, I would like to tell you what my dear husband ate for dinner last night in support of my new eating plan.

1. "The Big Hardee"
2. French Fries
3. A large sweet tea
4. A bowl of icecream WITH two Oreo Cakesters.

This from a guy who normally would just eat a bowl of cereal for dinner & shake his head when I go in for seconds. SUCH a saboteur.

Introducing: The 21 Day Challenge!

Ok, so the blog readership is down and the scale is UP. Something drastic has to happen...

I give you: The 21 Day "Skinny Bitch" Challenge

Skinny Bitch is a hilarious - but very legitimate and well researched book -that my sister Kathryn introduced me to a few years ago after a Two Cheeseburger Meal rendezvous for "encouragement." Since then, I have purchased the audio version of this book and come back to it often on "Fat Days." However, without fail, I choose aspartame, cookies, and fast food instead of their healthy plan. (Look, I'm baring it all here!)



That's right folks, for the sake of the blog (and my wardrobe), I'm making an appetite adjustment.

For 21 days (that's how long they say it takes to create a habit.) I will follow the "Skinny Bitch" plan and record my daily trials, tribulations, and food addiction with drawl symptoms RIGHT HERE on my blog. Sit back, relax, and start praying for me now. **You might want to pray for Jeff & my students too - this will NOT be pretty.**

The plan:

1. NO SUGAR. (Excluding natural sugars -i.e. fruits etc. THANK GOODNESS!)
2. NO WHITE FLOUR PRODUCTS.
3. NO MEAT. (This obviously is for the 21 day challenge ONLY.)
4. NO DAIRY. (Ditto above.)
5. NO JUNK FOOD.
6. NO ALCOHOL, SODA, or COFFEE.

*Realize that this basically means NO EATING. Which, without question, is GUARANTEED to make me skinny, and a bitch.

Day 1: September 14 --> Day 21: October 4

At this point, you might be wondering about my "last meal"... Well, in true Elizabeth spirit, I celebrated an entire weekend of eating junk so there would be plenty to clean out. :) This began with a Rochester, NY specialty called "trash plates" on Friday night at our friends' the Reynolds house.

If this doesn't make you want to fast for few days, I don't know what will.

Then... Saturday night I drank too much sangria... And, I wrapped up the weekend with hotdogs & TT chili. **Note to self: Do not talk about Texas Tavern chili and hotdogs during 21 day challenge. Too tempting.


And so, without further adeui, DAY 1.

Snapshot

Picture this:

Granny is wrapped up in a blanket on the couch in her "sitting room" watching a Lifetime movie with her cat. My mom is on the floor aimlessly opening drawers under the television which, oddly enough, contain a variety of food items - mints, granola bars, half-eaten bags of chips, candy bars, etc. She is passing these "treasures" directly over to Poppy who is sitting in a chair EATING whatever she gives him. It is 9:30 at night.

Maybe you had to be there... but I LOVED this.

RIP Kickball Dynasty

... Until next year...

Well, our season officially ended Tuesday night.

Brew Crew Final Stats: 11 - 1

So sad.

Twelve games, two trophies (complete with little red balls on top), two scarred knees, one pair of ruined tennis shoes, and a face dive later, it all came down to this:

The last play of the championship game. The score is 3 - 3. Bottom of the seventh inning, two outs, bases loaded, we're in the field. And... the ball comes to ME. Please note that not a single ball has come to me (right field - basically I just run after fouls every once in a while and cheer on Aric at first) ALL SEASON. For a moment, I was feeling good - eye on the ball, arms ready, and then OOPS - it slips right through my hands (go figure). Our opponents score a fourth run and we "line it up." Sad day in Brew Crew history... and my only "contribution" to the team.

Please accept this as my humble apology.

In the midst of tears, please enjoy a few photos to relive the Glory Days.

Photos courtesy of our professional photographer Howard (available for weddings, portraits, etc.)

Me in my standard position - exceptionally alert and athletic looking.

The "Chapman Channel" - just TRY to get through this folks!





Game over.

Our loyal fans: Dear Grandmother and The Don (wearing our team Rally Cap). Thank goodness grandmother is 90% blind - I told her after the game that I scored two runs and won the game for us. :)

Crazy Kickboxers

Usually when I am in kickboxing class and the instructor tells us to pretend we are punching someone we can't stand, I imagine my arms getting skinnier instead and that gets me through it. I just don't have a lot of "enemies," if you will. But yesterday, crazy kickboxer behind me in the line-up, I was punching YOU.

At first I thought it was strange when you were doing a completely different routine - maybe kickboxing, maybe not - from the entire class. Then, I began to get annoyed. It is hard enough for me to stay with everyone when we are all doing the same thing, nevermind when the person directly behind me is in another world. Do you think the work-out we are doing isn't "challenging" enough? I mean, not to be rude, but it really doesn't look like all your "hard work" is paying off. Then, when we were doing partner moves and you actually put your fingers in your ears to block out the music - I started to really get angry. Were we interrupting you? WHY are you at the class anyways? Couldn't this be done in your backyard, where at least the risk of getting run over or punched by others is greatly decreased? Friend, PLEASE re-evaluate your gym etiquette and refer to the handbook for the purpose of "group" exercise. I'd hate to see what might happen the next time they tell me to "PUNCH the lights out" of my worst enemy.

By the way, little lady with the camo skirt (selected especially for the "Body Combat" occasion, I'm sure) and full face of make-up. YOU were in a close second place. It is difficult to see you bouncing around and smiling like you're at a party, when I am literally flooding the gym in sweat. Thanks.

Love,
Elizabeth