What Not to Wear

Last night I chaperoned the Homecoming Dance at the high school where I teach. I had the perfect job of collecting tickets - i.e. the "Joan Rivers" of the dance where I could see all the dates, outfits, etc. before the kids actually walked the red carpet. As a result, I have decided to create a Top 10 List of WHAT NOT TO WEAR TO HOMECOMING from my "research" last night. Here goes:

10. Rainbow colored animal prints. (Neutral is wild enough - I promise.)
9. Tiaras (I thought this would go without saying, but no, the tiara is still alive and well.)
8. Matching dress & hair color duos.
7. Nude Hose. (a. In September; b. With open-toed shoes; c. EVER)
6. Backless dresses WITH a regular bra.
5. Anything with skulls and cross-bones.
4. Gang bandanas coming out of the pocket of a suit jacket.
3. Mini skirts pinned up on one side to reveal very "un" mini legs.
2. Midriff anything - hello 1999.
1. Sticky boobs that can be SEEN through the "keyhole" on your dress.

Just a little friendly advice for those of you looking for something to wear to your next formal event. :)

P.S. Day 13 = Check