Trade?

Um... So, my Kindle e-reader is missing.  I'm literally heartbroken.  It was last seen wearing a cute brown leather case and sitting on the banister at the top of my stairs last night at approximately 8PM.  At this point, I've enlisted several search parties and torn - my - house - apart.  No luck.

Interestingly enough, I DID find something strange in my house this morning.  At first glance, it was just a plain paper grocery bag; but, upon further investigation of its contents, I found: 2 Old Navy Women's Tops - Size Medium, 6 drinking glasses (each wrapped individually with plastic bags), and... a baggie of Amish Friendship Bread/ raw dough.

Here is photographic proof, in case you think I'm making this stuff up.

Could this be some twisted form of ransom?  A trade?  What kind of world do I live in? Honestly.

I'm sorry... but, as nice as these items are - and as valuable as that bag of yeast is - they are no replacement for my Kindle.

To the Owner of the Bag:

I was planning on letting your bread die.  BUT, luckily, the instructions call for the responsible party to simply "mush the bag" on days 1-9.  I feel like I can do that.  I will take good care of your dough, but I do expect you to treat my Kindle with the same respect.  Your glasses, on the other hand, may or may not be taken by scavengers (i.e. my brother in law) who are trying to furnish their kitchen.

Sincerely,

E