Memo to My Future Self

At twenty-six, you are happy.  You ADORE your husband, and can't believe how "easy" marriage has been so far.  You actually get kind-of excited when you think about the challenges you two might conquer together in the future.  You talk a lot about how nice it will be when life slows down in a few years, and you have more time to spend together. Right now, your favorite part of every day is curling up with Jeff and Addy before bed. You CAN'T WAIT to have a baby, but you are fearful too.  You quite like being selfish.  :) You worry (some) about Jeff finding a job he loves, about maybe moving someday, about how you will balance a house when you have kids, and about going prematurely gray.  Deep down, you've known for a while that God has been preparing you for something big, you just don't know what it is yet.  This makes you a little crazy, but you try to just relax and let things come as they will. 

You LOVE your job!  Sure, some mornings you'd like nothing more than to sleep until ten for the rest of your life... But, for the most part, you really genuinely enjoy going to work.  You LIKE teenagers - a lot, actually.  And, you can relate to them because you remember pretty clearly being a student in those exact same classrooms etc.  Your heart is strong enough to not find your identity in how well liked you are, but you haven't hardened to the point where you don't care.  It still stings when a kid says something ugly, and your entire day can be made with one positive comment.  Your favorite part of teaching is the in-between - when kids stop in to say hello or talk about their lives - don't ever get too "busy" for that.  You also really like lesson-planning and can't imagine ever being the teacher that just photocopies the same lessons OVER and OVER again every year.  You pray that grading papers gets faster for you!  Secretly, you think high school relationships are the cutest thing ever, and even get a little sad when couples break-up.  (You also don't really mind the "dirty" dancing at prom... And, you promise never to be an "old stick in the mud" who sits back shaking her head in disgust at the music.)

You obsess - too much - over your weight.  But, you are still hopeful that there is time to get your issues "worked out."  You hope deeply that one day you will wake up and ENJOY exercise!  You think a lot about how to raise girls to feel beautiful.

You aren't exactly "trendy," but you try to look cute and, most days, succeed.  You don't want to EVER wear mom jeans, sleep in a moo-moo, or quit wearing make-up.  In fact, you hope one day you will like wearing lipstick as much as your mom does.

Your house stresses you out A LOT, and you've agreed NEVER to own a bigger one -- unless it comes with a maid and a yard boy!  You actually LIKE not having cable.  And, you think your house looks its best when it is jam-packed with friends!  You pray that it will always be a place where people feel "at home." 

You are much more of a homebody now than you were when you were younger.  You MUCH prefer dinner and wine on the front porch with one or two friends over a night out dancing.  BUT, You think its ok to have a wild night once in a while --- that's what grandparents are for! You KNOW how important girlfriends are and you VOW not to ever give those up because of kids/schedules/distance/etc. 

Speaking of, you TREASURE the time you've spent with your grandparents and - desperately - want that for your kids one day!  And, when the time comes, you will remember how your parents spent so many years sacrificing for you --- and not get angry at them when they start going looney in old age.

The things that hurt you most in life are comments that come from bitter old beavers.  And, some of the most precious conversations and friendships you have are with older women who REALLY want to know you.  When you are older, you will remember this.  You will ALWAYS encourage younger women - in your job, your community, church, etc.  You will offer advice when it is necessary, but mostly just support them and let them learn things on their own.

You WILL remember what it was like to be twenty six and still have SO much life ahead of you!