Rotisserie Chicken

No, this post is not about last night's dinner.  It is, actually, about the condition of my skin this morning.  BARBECUE Rotisserie Chicken is probably the most appropriate description.  Honestly, I don't know what I've done to deserve skin like this...  I take the term "basking" in the sun to a whole new level.

While my family soaks up sun and turns into perfectly browned biscuits, I gracefully burn and freckle.

Today is our last day at the beach, and I will sit in the house with the oldies.  Yesterday, in an attempt to come home with some semblance of a "beach" look, I slathered myself in tan extender (leftover from the spray tan disaster) and hit the sand.  Kathryn warned me that this was a bad idea, but the image of golden legs in my head made me oblivious to any sense of reason.

Well, I should have listened...  By 3:30PM I could barely move my legs.  And, by 10PM when my family and I went out for a margarita and a "night on the town," I was literally sick.  As in, had to clear a shopping bag in preparation for a puke.  I am so fun to go out with.  (And, super attractive, not to mention.)

Dearest Epidermis,

Truly, I've been good to you.  I don't smoke or drink, I stay hydrated, and I get plenty of sleep.  I moisturize, I use SPF (every day if you count my make-up), I don't go to tanning beds, and I really only lay out once a year on vacation.  I have EVEN forgiven you for being covered in freckles and mostly translucent.  Would it really be too much to ask for a little natural color? Or, at the very least, NOT turning into a baked lobster?  Thank you for your consideration!

Love,

E