Midweek Confessions

Disclaimer: I actually started this post two weeks ago and never published it.  So, this is a mix of old and new confessions for ya. 

Now, let's do this...

- I legitimately cannot parallel park.  I'm not saying that I'm not good at parallel parking; I am saying that it is a physical impossibility.  As in, if there is only one parking space on an entire street and it requires parallel parking, I will continue driving around for the next thirty minutes until a pull-in spot becomes available.  It's bad.

Case in point: I recently I had to volunteer at an event for the Junior League.  When I pulled up to our meeting spot, there were several women already waiting on the street for our shuttle.  (And, just in case you aren't familiar with the Junior League - they are just as beautiful, sophisticated, and "together" as its reputation suggests... In other words, I'm totally the BLACK SHEEP.)  Anyway, I cruised up in my 2003 Toyota, rolled down the window to ask the group where to park, and - I'm honestly not exaggerating one bit - I had a mini panic attack right there when they casually suggested that I park on the street where they were standing... RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM... BETWEEN TWO CARS.  #notgonnahappen. I played it cool (although I know I was white as a ghost) and continued driving up the hill to "turn around" - yes, a normal driver would have reversed into the parallel spot - until (thank the good Lord!) I noticed another spot a little further away that only required me to maneuver around one car.  Easy, right?  One would think. Even that "giant" spot proved quite difficult for me and required the assistance of a lady standing on the curb coaching me with "No honey, you are still way too far out in the road to stop there.... Keep going, keep going, you've got a mile."  I survived it, but I'm taking a sabbatical from Junior League next year.*

- The other night, after taking Sam with me on a quick trip back to my classroom to pick up a binder I had left there and visiting with several friends there working the evening Adult Ed classes, I got in the car and discovered that the very bad smell I was blaming on Sam was actually coming from my arm.  Yep, apparently carrying him in and out of the building had left my right arm wet and poop stained.  (Yes, I just said poop.)  On a related note: Both my car and my classroom also smelled a bit poopy the next morning.  #momtruth #keepinitclassy

- I've been a little "click-happy" when it comes to paying for things like TV shows on Amazon (I'm ashamed to admit that I've now watched the entire first season of Scandal on Amazon paying $1.99 per episode... robbery) and apps for my phone (two words... Beautiful Mess).  When all I have to do is click "buy," it can't be really using my hard earned money, right?

- I despise putting groceries away.  As a result, refrigerated things sit out far too long in my house. 

- I didn't shower the last two days because I thought it would "motivate me" to exercise later in the evening.  It didn't work. I still didn't shower.  :)

- I went ONE day with no soda.  Now, I am allowing myself one caffeine free Diet Coke a day instead of completely cutting out my soda.  One.step.at.a.time.

What are you confessing today?  Please share!