Well, I officially understand what people mean when they say they "grow up so fast" now. Actually, I find myself saying "I get it" about 100 times a day these days. I admit, I've been naive. I never really understood why new moms said they couldn't take a shower or clean their houses or return simple emails. (I mean, doesn't your baby sleep a lot?" I thought.) Now, as I sit here at 5:03PM in my pajamas while my mother-in-law cleans my bathroom, I GET IT. I feel like part of the club now. We moms, we stick together. As my friend Lea said this morning in an email, "It's as if as soon as you have a baby, you can relate to every mom in the world all of the sudden... It's nice to have someone 'get' what is so hard to put into words." That's it. I have so many thoughts and things I want to remember right now; but the idea of getting everything written is, honestly, overwhelming. We'll just take this one step at a time.
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Sam is eight days old today! When we were in the hospital, everything was "for the first two weeks" (umbilical cord, circumcision, pacifiers, driving - for me, not Sam), and that felt SO far away. Now, here we are more than half way there.
He looks different everyday. Heck, he IS different every day. One day, I will think I've "figured it out," and the next day he is totally different. There is no such thing as "figuring it out" right now.
His little head is perfectly round, and his hair looks like it might be lightening a little bit. (P.S. I'm still in SHOCK that he even had any hair when he was born!)
His eyes are still big and blue, and each day he seems to be looking around and recognizing more. He knows his mama and daddy. He loves to go outside and could stare at trees and light all day (Or at least until he gets hungry).
He likes to be warm and cozy, like his dad. (Mom still sweats like a body builder - minus the muscles.)
He also likes to be held and looked at. He might be a little spoiled already, but I'm kind-of OK with that.
He LOVES to sleep, like his mom and dad and Addy. But, mostly from the hours of 4AM to 4PM. (Hence the fact that I am drinking my first cup of coffee of the day right now. My day is only just beginning.) We're a little mixed up right now, but I'm hopeful this will soon straighten itself out.
He makes the funniest faces when he is sleeping... We have affectionately labeled them: "old man face," "angry bird face," "milk drunk face," etc.
Jeff is a natural. Really. I can't even talk about how wonderful he is with Sam (and with me, for that matter) without tearing up. He is SO good, and he loves his boy SO much. Jeff is the BEST at changing dirty diapers (a task he swore he would never do) and soothing. I have never loved my husband more. Truly.
Addy has been perfect, just like I knew she would be. She is interested in Sam when he cries or lays on the floor (on his activity mat); otherwise, she is pretty uninterested. She is, however, milking all the visitors etc. as much as she possibly can. She even faked an injury two days ago - a little limp that conveniently came and went when someone threw a ball. ;)
And, I'm feeling pretty good. SPOILER ALERT: I had a c-section, so my recovery has been slower than some. I am losing weight slowly (about 15 pounds now), and yesterday I noticed I have ankles and knees again. Victory!
Today (Day 8) has probably been the hardest so far because I'm weaning off of pain medications and the last week's worth of visitors, lack of sleep, and being milked like a cow (more on that later) is catching up with me. I am SO SO happy. But, I'm also very emotional. I cry at 9:30PM every night. Some times it is because my nipples hurt (yes, I just said nipples... There is no such thing as modesty and motherhood - a lesson I learned quickly), and other times it is just because I feel so overwhelmed by God's goodness. Jeff just hugs me and laughs through this nightly ritual of tears. I don't think he realized being a dad meant he would have to take so much care of BOTH of us.
I still can't believe I'm a MOM.
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| Thanks to my friend Jen for all of these adorable photos! |
People have loved us and welcomed Sam even more than I ever imagined. From the minute he came into this world, Sam has been surrounded by a huge community of friends and family. Our refrigerator is PACKED. My house is clean. We have more cards and gifts than we know what to do with. And my baby has been so loved. This makes my heart full. THANK YOU to all of you that have made our transition home so great. If it's true that "it takes a village to raise a child," then we should be set. (Thanks, especially, to my incredible mom and mother-in-law... You two have been such lifesavers! I love you!)
I could go on and on... But, I'll stop there. One day, I want to tell you all about Sam's birth-day, and some "truths" about having a c-section. But, we're taking baby steps here (no pun intended).
P.S. Jeff commented yesterday on how grateful he was for all the "set-up" and prep I did before Sam was born. For as crazy as I was, it really has paid off. We love having a "kit" in every room to make our lives easier. I'm thinking about starting a business. Seriously.
I am sooo looking forward to meeting him! My Mom actually sent me a test message last night about how beautiful he is. :) Thanks so much for sharing through your blog; at least I feel like I'm not totally missing out on welcoming the newest member (and the next generation) of the family.
ReplyDeleteHe is so beautiful!! I can only imagine how overwhelmed with emotion you are during such a special time. I'm looking forward to hearing those truths about c-sections haha! Always appreciate your candid-ness
ReplyDeleteIsn't it marvelous when your ankles return? After my swelling went down (and I *had* ankles again), for the first few days I would just sit and stare at how beautiful my tiny ankles were. Getting off of the pain medication sucks...I was off percocet quickly, but kept up an ibuprofen habit for a while. You'll feel better each day - honestly, it took me longer than I thought it would to stop being in pain, but eventually it went away and now I can't even feel my scar/can stretch without feeling like I'm going to break in two.
ReplyDeleteAlso, yes, motherhood = the death of modesty. It's really true. I used to be modest. Now I breastfeed in public (I cover up, but still...never thought I'd have the guts to do it in public).
Finally (and then I'll stop, I promise), our schedule with E was the SAME way when she first came home - I'd end up having breakfast and coffee at 2 pm. Nearly 3 months later, I'm still not getting up super early (I generally feed her around 5/6 and then sleep again till 8/9), but we are on a much more normal-person schedule. I'll be thinking of you and Sam in the coming days! It really gets better and better.
I can relate to so much you wrote, especially the mom-cleaning-the-bathroom part! I had a c-section as well and the recovery IS tough. My Mom stayed with us for a week when I came home from the hospital and I was SO grateful. It does get better with each day (as in you feeling better). My baby is 8 weeks and I am feeling good now. Can't wait to read more of your story. Oh yeah, and by the way, Sam is soooooo adorable. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on little Sam. The recovery is tough, and like you, I had a case of the "baby blues." Rather than weeping at 9:30 pm, I would cry every day for a week at around 6 pm on the dot. It was strange. Sometimes it was out of thankfulness and joy (happy blubbering about my loving husband and baby) and sometimes it was just exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteIt's an incredibly amazing time--the first couple months. It's so hard, but when else can you just hold your little one and just STARE at them for what feels like hours?
So exciting! I am only 12 weeks from my due date and love reading about what's to come :)
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