Thoughts on Having a C-Section

This is kind-of a random topic to be writing about since I had my c-section two and half years ago; but, it comes up fairly regularly in my conversations with other parents in real life (I know, I'm that girl), and it is actually on my mind a lot.  In particular, I got to thinking about it this morning after one of my favorite bloggers, Kate from The Small Things, shared some of her c-section story and mentioned that she has received some negative feedback about it, etc.

Let me say this before I go any further... I don't have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and child birth.  Some may fault me for this, but there is A LOT of conflicting information available when it comes to having a baby, and I decided very early in my pregnancy that I am NOT an expert at those things, and that I would drive myself crazy if I tried to become one in nine months.  The best thing FOR ME was to trust my doctor as the authority and rest in that. I know some of you feel differently.  I know some of you are passionate about natural childbirth or avoiding a c-section at all costs.  That's fine.  This is my experience and what worked for me and my baby.  I also hope that it will be encouraging to those of you that have had c-sections yourself or are pregnant and may face some similar decisions in the months to come.  

Ok.

If you have an extra hour you're looking to kill (ha), you can re-read Sam's complete birth story starting here or jump to the "good part" here.  Otherwise, here it is in a nutshell:

- I labored at home from roughly 11AM - 10PM; we checked in to L&D at 10:30PM and my water broke (on its own) about five minutes later.

- Things progressed pretty quickly once I got to the hospital (I was already dilated to an 8 by the time I got my epidural), and I started pushing at about 1:45AM.  

- For the next hour, I pushed (hard) with very little progress,  until the doctor finally came in to check again around 3AM and found that Sam's head was stuck on my pelvis, his heart rate was elevated, and he appeared to have a fever.  At that point, he said I could continue to push for a couple more hours but recommended a c-section. 

- To quote from my original birth story post, "I sincerely believe that God had been preparing me for that moment.  I am so grateful for the peace that I had about getting the c-section. It was like I was already ready for it.  Jeff and I didn't doubt the decision for one minute; we just went with it.  We just wanted a healthy baby.  I wasn't sad.  I wasn't even scared.  I just was ready to meet Sam."

- Less than two hours later, Sam was born completely blue (not breathing) and with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck FOUR times.  (This is called a quadruple-nuchal, and it was only the second our OB had ever seen. If you want to be scared, Google it.) 

- Thankfully, the OB was set and, after receiving some immediate attention, Sam let out the most beautiful cry ever and we had our happy ending.

OK.... I'm going to try not to be super dramatic here, but... I really believe that if I had continued to push back at 3AM (which wouldn't have been crazy for a lot of people), our story would have ended VERY differently...

So, here's the thing... I think I can speak for every mother ever when I say that the ultimate goal here is to safely deliver a healthy baby when it is all said and done.  Something about becoming a momma makes you instinctively able to do ANYTHING in order to make that happen (just ask one).  I, truly, have a lot of respect for women that choose to have their babies completely naturally and without surgical intervention.  You are right, our bodies ARE naturally designed to be able to do the hard work of childbirth and the miracle of it IS beautiful.  Yes, hundreds of years ago, women had babies in their homes with little to no medical intervention ALL THE TIME; but hundreds of years ago a lot more women and children died during childbirth too.

I'm honestly not trying to cause a ruckus (really, I'm not), it's just that your desire NOT to have medical intervention might be the EXACT SAME reason I choose to have it.  Are you with me?

In my case, having a c-section might have SAVED my baby's life, and you just can't underestimate that.

As I mentioned in my original birth-story post, God gave me an incredible peace about the entire situation.  Long before it was time to make any hard-fast decisions, I had a sense (a motherly intuition, maybe?) that I would have to have a c-section.  *In fact, for those couple of hours when everything was progressing normally and I had started to push, I remember a moment of "I can't believe this."  No, I didn't ask for a c-section; but, I also wasn't upset at the recommendation or disappointed in my decision to go ahead with it.  I feel like JUST AS MUCH of a mother after a c-section than I would have been if I'd delivered my baby "naturally," because - either way - I was doing what was best for MY baby.

Are there negatives to having a c-section?  Absolutely! 

I only got to see Sam for a hot second before we went our separate ways to recover for a couple of hours, I had to stay in the hospital a little longer (which I actually didn't mind), I couldn't lift heavy objects, drive a car, or go up and down stairs for a longer time, and my scar was painful and then tingly for a long time after the surgery (not to mention my scar will show in a string bikini - bahahahaa).  But, overall, I'd say I had a pretty good experience with recovery etc.  (Of course, I don't really know any different either.)

All that said, I have to admit that, although I'm not even pregnant again yet, I already get a little nervous when the subject of c-sections and VBACs comes up in conversation these days.  I don't know yet what we will decide to do when it comes to future deliveries; but, I admit that I feel a certain societal expectation to at least try to avoid a c-section and a little guilt about the possibility of not. But, really, that's silly.  I've got to let that go.  I've got to remember that we all have the same goal, and I don't need to impress anyone.

So, if you are a mama that had a c-section to deliver your baby, I want you to know something:

YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR.  YOU HAD MAJOR SURGERY IN WHICH A SURGEON CUT THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES TO BRING YOUR BABY INTO THIS WORLD, AND YOU WILL HAVE THE "BATTLE SCAR" TO PROVE IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  Please don't let anyone convince you that you did the wrong thing, that you didn't "try" hard enough, or that you haven't experienced childbirth.  They are WRONG (and, frankly, ignorant.) You did the best thing for your baby from DAY ONE.  Rest in that.

And, if you are pregnant right now and preparing yourself that a scheduled (or emergency) c-section could be an option (which I encourage you to prepare for regardless), know this:  

YOU ARE ALREADY THE PERFECT MAMA FOR YOUR BABY.  PLEASE TRUST YOURSELF, YOUR DOCTOR, AND YOUR PRAYERS AND DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR DISAPPOINTMENT FOR THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE WHEN IT COMES TIME TO DELIVER. The way in which your baby comes into the world has NOTHING to do with your performance as a woman or a mother.  YOU'VE GOT THIS.  (And, really, c-sections aren't that scary and terrible anyway.)

Ok, sorry for getting so feisty and deep on you today.  Just keepin' it real.

Feel free to share some of your own birth stories and thoughts in the comments; but, keep it nice (duh!).

Sam's Birth Story: Part 3

(I am the longest story-teller EVER.  If you've missed them, read Part 1 here and Part 2 here to catch up...)

... According to my dad (the numbers guy) I was rolled by the waiting room at 4:22AM for surgery.  (Poor family, they thought the baby was coming back at 1:30!)  Jeff was given a hott haz-mat suit to wear and asked to wait in the hall while I was prepped.  The anesthesiologist stood "up top" with me, and talked me through the whole process.  At one point, he even asked me what kind-of music I liked and I thought "don't be ridiculous, I'm not in the mood to talk about music."  Right before the surgery started, the doctor called out "husband" and someone left to get Jeff.   I was SO glad when he came in to be with me.  He prayed for us, and for Sam; and, again, I felt totally at peace.  Finally, we were about to meet our boy.

Sam was born at 4:45AM.  He wasn't crying.  I kept asking why and people kept telling me ridiculous things like "it's totally normal" and "he's still connected to you" and I just accepted it.  I was not afraid.  It might have been the drugs; but, I truly think I was just covered in prayer. It is NOT in my nature to not freak out when things don't go exactly according to plan. In reality, probably about 40 seconds passed before we finally heard his sweet little voice.  It felt like forever... It was the best.sound.ever.  A nurse brought my boy to us, and Jeff got to hold him so I could see him.  He had hair - which shocked me.  Then, he was off to the nursery.  Jeff went with him and got to introduce our little guy to his adoring fans.  I had a good bit of recovery ahead of me; but, I was on cloud nine.  I was happy and chatty with the doctors.  Our Sam was here. 

I found out MUCH later, that Sam was born completely blue and not breathing.  Not only was his head definitely stuck (and almost definitely would NOT have come out had I continued to push); but, he also had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck FOUR times.  This is called a quadruple nuchal (Google it), and the doctor had only seen this one other time. As soon as he entered the world,  he had to have these cords ripped off of his neck (no cord cutting for Daddy) and was rushed to nurses to get oxygen.

Poor Jeff had peeked over the curtain right before they pulled him out and seen the reality of those first seconds.  I love him even more today because; somehow, in that moment, he knew that he had to lie to me and tell me everything was fine -even though he was scared to death.  I hate that he experienced that feeling alone; but I am thankful.  I, honestly, think childbirth might be more traumatic for the dad than it is the mom.  I'm sure many disagree; but, I wouldn't want to switch places.

I know that God prepared me for a c-section; and, I know that he protected me from fear and anxiety in the OR.  Having a baby born blue is every mother's worst nightmare... Yet, I never really experienced those bone-chilling feelings.  I don't know what it was, but I felt an incredible peace over me the entire time Sam was being delivered.  I am SO thankful for that.  I am thankful for my awesome doctor who knew to make the c-section call; I am thankful for modern medicine; I am thankful for my brave husband; and, I am thankful for my healthy baby boy. (Photos taken just minutes after he was born while I was still in recovery... Look at his poor head!)

After the umbilical cord saga, Sam was a bit of a legend around the nursery.  Nurses etc. kept stopping in to see "the baby that had his cord wrapped four times!"  Jeff and I were so proud of our little acrobat.  Of course, we're biased... But, we happen to think he's quite a champion.

So... there you have it.  It is our story.  It is not perfect.  It is not how I imagined it.  But, it is ours.  And, more importantly, Sam is ours.  He is here.  God is good.

At one week.  (0 months - haha!)

P.S. He is making up for that lack of crying now! ;)

Sam's Birth Story: Part 2

Ok friends... Sorry I just left you hanging... on with Part Two.  (In case you missed it, read Part 1 here.)

...When we first got checked at the hospital, the nurse asked if I wanted to go ahead and get prepped for an epidural.  I was NOT opposed to having drugs for the pain; but, I had read about how epidurals often slow labor down.  Plus, I wasn't in that much pain just yet, so I thought we should hold off... The nurse, however, strongly recommended that we get started because she said the process could take about an hour.  (It was almost the middle of the night, so they would have to call the doctor on call to come in from home to check me, get a bag of fluid in my system, etc. all before the anesthesiologist came in.) I decided to go ahead with it then.
 

And... thank goodness I did.  The process ended up taking two hours.  After my water broke, labor progressed REALLY fast and got much more intense.  By the time my doctor got there at about midnight, I was already dilated to a 6, and he commented on how strong my contractions were... You're telling me buddy!  By now, they were definitely hurting! (Looking back, I don't really remember much of the pain, but I can tell by the way that Jeff describes it, that I was NOT a happy camper.  I do remember that I cried and told the nurses that I didn't expect to be so loud.)

The nurses also had some trouble getting the iv started in my hand (let's just say, Jeff had a shirt ruined with my blood in the process), so it was 1AM before I finally got some relief from the epidural.  (I had been so nervous about it; but, by that point it felt like a piece of cake.) Right afterward, the nurse checked my cervix again, and I was at 9!  We would be having this baby even sooner than we thought!! 

At that point, Jeff called our families and told them to come on to the hospital (his mom was already in the parking lot - Haha).  Here's one of my favorite photos of them arriving.  (Hope no one was trying to sleep anywhere nearby.)

Once I was feeling like a human again, I remember thinking "I can't believe how easy this has been!"  (A terrible idea to get ahead of myself like that.)  The thing was, I'd been fully prepared to have a c-section, or - at the very least - a very long and difficult labor.  The idea that I would go into labor at home, check in to the hospital, and have a baby a few hours later had NEVER crossed my mind... I don't really know why exactly; except that easy had never really been an adjective used to describe this pregnancy. (I may or may not have also thought to myself: "This is going to be a boring birth story on my blog."  Little did I know...)

At 1:40AM, after about 30 minutes of "laboring down," the nurse declared that it was time to start pushing.  Again, my expectations were totally blown out of the water.  I'd imagined Jeff standing "above the sheet" coaching me; but instead, there was no sheet, and he was (literally) given a leg.  The doctor, I learned, wouldn't even be called in until the baby started to crown... Crazy!

Approximately one hour later, my doctor came to check on me even though there was still no head in sight.  I felt like I'd been working SO hard, but we weren't really seeing any progress.  Although the nurses were encouraging; I'd later learn that they had been sneaking outside to call my OB all along... Something wasn't quite right.

When he "investigated the situation" (you like that polite terminology?), he found that not only was our little one's head apparently stuck on my pelvis; but, his heart rate was elevated and his body felt warm - not good signs.  In the doctor's words, "[I] could push for another two hours and it might be possible to have this baby; but, I could also be in the same situation I'm in now but a lot more exhausted."  His recommendation of a c-section did not surprise me one bit.

Looking back, I sincerely believe that God had been preparing me for that moment.  I am so grateful for the peace that I had about getting the c-section. It was like I was already ready for it.  Jeff and I didn't doubt the decision for one minute; we just went with it.  We just wanted a healthy baby.  I wasn't sad.  I wasn't even scared.  I just was ready to meet Sam.

To be continued... (One more part, I promise!)

Sam's Birth Story: Part 1

Ok.  Let's do this...  (This may be the boring part... If you just want the gory details of Sam's birth - jump forward to Part 2 coming soon. No hard feelings.)

Our birth story begins two weeks ago today, on Tuesday July 12th.  As you might remember from some of my posts around that time, I really wasn't showing much progress towards labor.  In fact, I hadn't had a single contraction yet and had set my sights on my 39 week appointment Thursday in which (I'd hoped) the doctor I'd be working with for the next two weeks while mine was on vacation would consider scheduling an induction.  We were ready to meet our little guy... But, I wasn't getting my hopes up!

Anyway, I felt particularly sluggish Tuesday morning; but, I chalked it up to the fact that I had had a productive Monday and crossed off most of the remaining items on my "Pre-Baby To Do List."  (Thanks God for showing this Type-A gal some grace with your timing!)  I snoozed a little later than usual and read in bed for most of the morning.  I was having some new back-pain, but it was nothing major.

At eleven, I left the house to run some errands and meet Jeff for lunch.  Some time around there, the pain in my lower back started becoming a little stronger and I noticed that it was coming in short little intervals.  Could this be labor?  It wasn't what I was expecting, but it was different and could be timed. At Panera, over black bean soup (sorry nurses!) and turkey panini, I told Jeff - "I think I'm having contractions.  I'd actually be a little surprised if this isn't the start of something."

I'd planned to go to the mall and walk around after lunch (you know, to bring on the labor I thought was still weeks away); but the back pain was increasing, and I felt super tired.  So, I went home to nap instead.  At about 3:15, I was woken up by the pain in my back.  Aha! "Real contractions will not slow down when you lay down or walk around."  I decided to start timing these little spurts.  At this point, they were between 15 and 20 minutes apart and lasting between 30 and 75 seconds.  By now I was confident that Baby C was getting ready to come; but, I also was well aware that some women labor like this for DAYS.

By 5:30ish, my contractions (I now felt safe calling them that) were more like 10 minutes apart.  So, when Jeff called to see how I was doing, I told him to come home.  We needed to get some things done because I was pretty sure we'd be going to the hospital that night.  (Always planning, I am.)  Of course, he hurried home.

Things start to get a little blurry around this point... Contractions didn't really feel the way I thought they would.  In fact, the only reason I even knew they were contractions was because they were time-able and not just a basic ache.  They hurt; but, they weren't miserable.  Even as they got stronger, I could still walk and talk through them.  It wasn't the "textbook" labor that I'd learned about in our birthing class; so, despite what my body was telling me, I was super nervous that I would get to the hospital and they'd send me home saying it was nothing.

To busy myself, I cleaned out my car instead.  I'm talking Windex, Pledge, and the vacuum.   This seemed perfectly legitimate at the time - I didn't want the baby to come home in a dirty car.  (Nevermind that it has been sitting pretty in my driveway ever since then.) Jeff ate the Chicken Enchiladas I'd made for dinner (I wasn't hungry - another MAJOR sign that something was up) and mowed the lawn in the dark because I insisted.  He is a really good man.

Finally, by about 9PM, my contractions were five minutes apart.  Mom had brought over an exercise ball, and that seemed to be the most comfortable place to get through them.  I could still handle them, but they were definitely getting more painful.  BUT, they weren't lasting a full minute and it hadn't been an hour like this - I'm a rule follower, you know - so we waited.  I took a shower, put on make-up, straightened my  hair, and asked Jeff - "Do I look ready to meet our boy?"  

At 10:30PM we walked up to the labor and delivery floor of the hospital.  We only took in one bag because I thought we might curse it if we took everything in.  I wanted to be sure we were staying first!  It wasn't like we had an appointment or anything, so we just showed up.  TV makes you think that this stage will be very exciting and dramatic.  In reality, I told a nurse I thought I was in labor, she took me into a room, wrote down my name and social security number on a paper towel (I'm not lying), and left us to wait.

Thirty minutes later, I was checked in and hooked up. My contractions were measuring every three minutes or so, and I was 3.5 centimeters dialated, and I had to use the bathroom REALLY bad.  When I got out of bed, I didn't even make it to the bathroom before my water broke everywhere.  To my relief, the nurse finally said, "You better get settled in, you're having a baby." So... We called our families, Jeff went off to get the other 500 items from the car,  and we checked the blog (on his phone) to see who had a chance at winning our birth-date pool.  :)

I can't believe I'm posting this.  At least I have nice nails.

To be continued...

HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!

Well ladies... HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!

Samuel Marshall Chapman "Sam" was born yesterday (7/13) at 4:45AM.  He was 7 lbs., 4 oz. and 19.5 inches long. He is perfect and wonderful.  I love him so so much, and I am SO happy that he is here.

In my fantasy world, I imagined that we would have all this extra time in the hospital/labor for blogging etc... But, alas, reality has set in and this is the first second I have had to update my blog.  Rest assured, I've been thinking about you all and anxious to share! 

Here are a few pictures to tide you over until I have a chance to write down all the details.  In the meantime, THANK YOU for all your support and prayers these last nine months.  We made it!!

Just a few hours old.

Our families meeting Baby Sam.  They were troopers... In the waiting room from about 2:30AM.  

Our family of three!