This is kind-of a random topic to be writing about since I had my c-section two and half years ago; but, it comes up fairly regularly in my conversations with other parents in real life (I know, I'm that girl), and it is actually on my mind a lot. In particular, I got to thinking about it this morning after one of my favorite bloggers, Kate from The Small Things, shared some of her c-section story and mentioned that she has received some negative feedback about it, etc.
Let me say this before I go any further... I don't have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and child birth. Some may fault me for this, but there is A LOT of conflicting information available when it comes to having a baby, and I decided very early in my pregnancy that I am NOT an expert at those things, and that I would drive myself crazy if I tried to become one in nine months. The best thing FOR ME was to trust my doctor as the authority and rest in that. I know some of you feel differently. I know some of you are passionate about natural childbirth or avoiding a c-section at all costs. That's fine. This is my experience and what worked for me and my baby. I also hope that it will be encouraging to those of you that have had c-sections yourself or are pregnant and may face some similar decisions in the months to come.
Ok.
If you have an extra hour you're looking to kill (ha), you can re-read Sam's complete birth story starting here or jump to the "good part" here. Otherwise, here it is in a nutshell:
- I labored at home from roughly 11AM - 10PM; we checked in to L&D at 10:30PM and my water broke (on its own) about five minutes later.
- Things progressed pretty quickly once I got to the hospital (I was already dilated to an 8 by the time I got my epidural), and I started pushing at about 1:45AM.
- For the next hour, I pushed (hard) with very little progress, until the doctor finally came in to check again around 3AM and found that Sam's head was stuck on my pelvis, his heart rate was elevated, and he appeared to have a fever. At that point, he said I could continue to push for a couple more hours but recommended a c-section.
- To quote from my original birth story post, "I sincerely believe that God had been preparing me for that moment. I am so grateful for the peace that I had about getting the c-section. It was like I was already ready for it. Jeff and I didn't doubt the decision for one minute; we just went with it. We just wanted a healthy baby. I wasn't sad. I wasn't even scared. I just was ready to meet Sam."
- Less than two hours later, Sam was born completely blue (not breathing) and with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck FOUR times. (This is called a quadruple-nuchal, and it was only the second our OB had ever seen. If you want to be scared, Google it.)
- Thankfully, the OB was set and, after receiving some immediate attention, Sam let out the most beautiful cry ever and we had our happy ending.
OK.... I'm going to try not to be super dramatic here, but... I really believe that if I had continued to push back at 3AM (which wouldn't have been crazy for a lot of people), our story would have ended VERY differently...
So, here's the thing... I think I can speak for every mother ever when I say that the ultimate goal here is to safely deliver a healthy baby when it is all said and done. Something about becoming a momma makes you instinctively able to do ANYTHING in order to make that happen (just ask one). I, truly, have a lot of respect for women that choose to have their babies completely naturally and without surgical intervention. You are right, our bodies ARE naturally designed to be able to do the hard work of childbirth and the miracle of it IS beautiful. Yes, hundreds of years ago, women had babies in their homes with little to no medical intervention ALL THE TIME; but hundreds of years ago a lot more women and children died during childbirth too.
I'm honestly not trying to cause a ruckus (really, I'm not), it's just that your desire NOT to have medical intervention might be the EXACT SAME reason I choose to have it. Are you with me?
In my case, having a c-section might have SAVED my baby's life, and you just can't underestimate that.
As I mentioned in my original birth-story post, God gave me an incredible peace about the entire situation. Long before it was time to make any hard-fast decisions, I had a sense (a motherly intuition, maybe?) that I would have to have a c-section. *In fact, for those couple of hours when everything was progressing normally and I had started to push, I remember a moment of "I can't believe this." No, I didn't ask for a c-section; but, I also wasn't upset at the recommendation or disappointed in my decision to go ahead with it. I feel like JUST AS MUCH of a mother after a c-section than I would have been if I'd delivered my baby "naturally," because - either way - I was doing what was best for MY baby.
Are there negatives to having a c-section? Absolutely!
I only got to see Sam for a hot second before we went our separate ways to recover for a couple of hours, I had to stay in the hospital a little longer (which I actually didn't mind), I couldn't lift heavy objects, drive a car, or go up and down stairs for a longer time, and my scar was painful and then tingly for a long time after the surgery (not to mention my scar will show in a string bikini - bahahahaa). But, overall, I'd say I had a pretty good experience with recovery etc. (Of course, I don't really know any different either.)
All that said, I have to admit that, although I'm not even pregnant again yet, I already get a little nervous when the subject of c-sections and VBACs comes up in conversation these days. I don't know yet what we will decide to do when it comes to future deliveries; but, I admit that I feel a certain societal expectation to at least try to avoid a c-section and a little guilt about the possibility of not. But, really, that's silly. I've got to let that go. I've got to remember that we all have the same goal, and I don't need to impress anyone.
So, if you are a mama that had a c-section to deliver your baby, I want you to know something:
YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. YOU HAD MAJOR SURGERY IN WHICH A SURGEON CUT THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES TO BRING YOUR BABY INTO THIS WORLD, AND YOU WILL HAVE THE "BATTLE SCAR" TO PROVE IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Please don't let anyone convince you that you did the wrong thing, that you didn't "try" hard enough, or that you haven't experienced childbirth. They are WRONG (and, frankly, ignorant.) You did the best thing for your baby from DAY ONE. Rest in that.
YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. YOU HAD MAJOR SURGERY IN WHICH A SURGEON CUT THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES TO BRING YOUR BABY INTO THIS WORLD, AND YOU WILL HAVE THE "BATTLE SCAR" TO PROVE IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Please don't let anyone convince you that you did the wrong thing, that you didn't "try" hard enough, or that you haven't experienced childbirth. They are WRONG (and, frankly, ignorant.) You did the best thing for your baby from DAY ONE. Rest in that.
And, if you are pregnant right now and preparing yourself that a scheduled (or emergency) c-section could be an option (which I encourage you to prepare for regardless), know this:
YOU ARE ALREADY THE PERFECT MAMA FOR YOUR BABY. PLEASE TRUST YOURSELF, YOUR DOCTOR, AND YOUR PRAYERS AND DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR DISAPPOINTMENT FOR THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE WHEN IT COMES TIME TO DELIVER. The way in which your baby comes into the world has NOTHING to do with your performance as a woman or a mother. YOU'VE GOT THIS. (And, really, c-sections aren't that scary and terrible anyway.)
YOU ARE ALREADY THE PERFECT MAMA FOR YOUR BABY. PLEASE TRUST YOURSELF, YOUR DOCTOR, AND YOUR PRAYERS AND DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GUILT OR DISAPPOINTMENT FOR THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE WHEN IT COMES TIME TO DELIVER. The way in which your baby comes into the world has NOTHING to do with your performance as a woman or a mother. YOU'VE GOT THIS. (And, really, c-sections aren't that scary and terrible anyway.)
Ok, sorry for getting so feisty and deep on you today. Just keepin' it real.
Feel free to share some of your own birth stories and thoughts in the comments; but, keep it nice (duh!).
I also loved Kate's post and this one as well. There SHOULD be no shame in the way your child made his entrance into the world. Because lets face it, 8 seconds after your kid is born, we're all on level ground.... new parents to an incredible gift. Rock on feisty friend!
ReplyDeleteLove this... What a great way to look at it - being on level ground immediately after the baby is born. You are so right! :)
DeleteI wish I'd have had the same peace about having a c section that you had. I cried when they mentioned the possibility and cried when they said they were going to prep me for surgery because I had a fever and my baby's heart rate was up. I said "let's do this thing," but I was so sad that I didn't even get to try to push. I wanted to push and have my baby placed on my chest and nurse immediately and delay chord clamping and all that jazz. I ended up being seperated from my baby longer than normal because my epidural failed and they had to put me under general anesthesia right after he left the room. I don't really remember meeting him because I was still pretty out of it when I left recovery. I mourned the loss of my ideal delivery for a while and, to be honest, I still do a bit. My baby boy is 4 months old and I love him more than life itself, but I still occasionally feel sad about how his birth went down. And I feel guilty about that. I wish I could have been more mentally present during and after his birth, but that wasn't God's plan. I just need to accept that.
ReplyDeleteTrista, I am SO sorry that you had such a traumatic experience with your son's delivery/c-section. It does sound like you had some hard things happen, and I'm sad for you that you are having to wrestle with them now. BUT, I do hope that you hear the message loud and clear that you are a GOOD mom because you did what you had to do in that moment for the safety of you and your son. You had to sacrifice some of your own hopes for his birth - I think it's totally fine to mourn those - so that he would be in the best possible situation for his health... I hope that brings a little bit of comfort and peace.
DeleteThank you for this post! I had a similar story -- labored on my own, pushed for several ours, and because little miss was sunnyside up, made very little progress. I eventually said "yes" to the c-section and have a happy, healthy girl.
ReplyDeleteDoes part of me regret saying yes? Of course. But only because neither myself or my daughter were showing any signs of distress at that time. however, at the end of the day, all that is important is that we are both healthy.
We are expecting our second child in June, and I am hoping to avoid a c-section this time. I am not doing it merely because I do not want another c section, but rather I still (I adamantly did not want to get induced with little miss) hate the idea of childbirth being scheduled. Thus, despite the "risks" associated with a vbac, I am going to give it a try, but knowing that there is nothing "wrong" or "less awesome" about a birth if it results in a c-section and a healthy baby.
Congrats on Baby 2 and best wishes for a healthy VBAC (and, most importantly, a healthy baby). It sounds like you have a really good perspective on the whole thing! Thanks for sharing!
DeleteAmen! Thank you for sharing this. I had a planned c-section because my baby was measuring very large and I happen to have a small frame. My doctor knew I'd have trouble delivering naturally. I was so relieved to have the planned c section but have always felt embarrass to share that with anyone. It turned out that my baby boy also had his cord wrapped around his neck and would have had trouble delivering if I had insisted on a natural birth. I'm just happy he's here, happy and healthy at 20 months old! I didn't experience any complications from the c section... just a sore and tingly scar area for several months and it was difficult to walk and sit up for the first month after the delivery. I never experienced a contraction or pushing and I'm fine with that.
ReplyDeleteLet's change that stigma and NOT be embarrassed about opting for a c-section. You did the right thing for YOU and YOUR BABY, and that is what matters! I love your attitude about it all! :)
DeleteI had a c-section that went down almost exactly like yours did. I also felt like before I went into labor that I would have a c-section.I felt guilty for a while (like I willed it to happen), but ultimately having a healthy baby was all that mattered. When it was time for baby #2, we didn't even consider VBAC and went with the scheduled c-section.
ReplyDeleteI had some of those same feelings about "willing it" because I had always kind-of expected to have a c-section (my mom had two); but, really, that is impossible! :) I'm curious how you and your husband made the decision not to consider a VBAC... Just interested for my own decisions one day!
DeleteThis is a great post and I am about to leave you a novel of a comment. I felt very strongly that I wanted to have an unmedicated child birth, that it was something I was mentally prepared for and wanted to prepare for physically. We did a Bradley class to prepare for delivery, we totally drank the kool-aid, loved it, and I was able to give birth my baby with the assistance of an OB in a hospital without medication or major medical intervention. So that's a successful Bradley birth right? To be honest, of the 7 couples in our class I think the family that ended up benefiting the most from the class was the mom and baby who ended up with an scheduled C-section. I think because of what we learned in class about working with your HCP, about asking for time to make some decisions, among other things, she and her husband were able to own the decision making process and in the end feel good about what happened even though it wasn't the plan they were shooting for.
ReplyDeleteMy observation has been that often times moms don't feel like they got to be an active participant in their labor, that it ended up being something that "happened" to them. And although, yes, the healthy baby and mom is absolutely the most important part of the outcome, you can't deny that L&D is a hugely emotional and mental experience. I think when the emotional and mental part of it are diminished in favor of the "well, you got a healthy baby," part, a mother can be left feeling bad or having some regrets about her experience and then feeling bad that she feels bad about her birth experience. I have a healthy baby, I should just get over it right??? It's kind of a vicious cycle.
It think it's credit to you and your doctor that you feel so good (as you should!!!) about your birth outcome.
First of all, more power to you mama for no drugs in childbirth. You are a tough cookie for sure!
DeleteSecond, thanks for pointing out that there IS more to L&D than "just" a healthy baby. Yes, that's the most important thing; but, I would never want to undermine the emotional effect labor and delivery can have on some women too. For me, I never really saw it as a super emotional thing, but I know A LOT of women do. I love the perspective you gave of being educated enough to be able to fully own your decision - regardless of what it is - instead of feeling pushed or pressured into something. Thanks for sharing!
It's really interesting to me to see both sides of the argument. They seem to both be so strongly against each (super pro natural child birth people vs scheduled c section), when in reality, each case is different. I mean, if my doctor told me that my baby's head was pushing on my pelvis and he was running a fever, I would be like, get this baby out. Why even chance it? For the sake of saying you did it naturally? That's obviously a case where it's what was best for the baby. Medical intervention is necessary many times! It's not like science is just completely wrong. There's always somewhere in the middle and I wish people would learn to work with each other to help the mom get the best care possible vs being so black and white about what's right and wrong.
ReplyDeleteFirst time commenter, and I just have to tell you I LOVE this post! My son was breech literally until 38 weeks and flipped the week before my planned c-section only to have an emergency c-section 30 hours into my labor because he couldn't fit through my pelvis. Even after all of that I actually had a wonderful experience and get so much crap for saying it was a great experience. I wouldn't even consider having a VBAC even if I could because the c-section was so easy for me. That was my experience and I'm sure there are plenty of horror stories too, but it is ridiculous the constant Mommy shaming that happens everywhere about everything. From whether you breastfeed, feed your kid organic food, let them watch tv, etc. etc. etc. It never ends. Moms need to stick up for each other, not judge and tear them down!
ReplyDeleteI would love for your to contribute this story to a new series on my blog called Birth Diaries...where I'm hoping to give women a place to uplift and support each other. Have a c-section is a BIG deal, especially when you feel it could have gone differently with more choice. If you get a minute, please read through the first few and let me know what you think. Sharing our stories is so important! -Andrea http://www.handandtheheart.com/search/label/BirthDiaries email: laugherya@gmail.com (or the email for reply comments!)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing and being honest! I was like you, I trusted my ob because she's the expert, not me! I didn't have a csection but I had an epidural and was given A LOT of crap about it. In the end you have to work with your ob and decide what is best for YOUR family.
ReplyDeleteI HATE that people gave you a hard time for getting an epidural. I'm so sorry!! Thanks for the encouraging comment! Keep on keepin' on momma!
Deletebeautiful post. i was able to have the pregnancy and delivery i planned on, but i know that's not the case for every mother.
ReplyDeletei hate how polarizing c-sections are. i have a friend who is a pediatric ob in uganda, and her husband is an ob. he's one of the only surgeons in the area, and they see women and babies die often who could have lived if they'd had a c-section. (her blog is amazing http://paradoxuganda.blogspot.com/)
in america, c-sections are seen as this terrible, horrible thing with stigma attached to them and they need all these disclaimers to not upset people. but i think the only reason that's the case is because we have such great access to prenatal care that we take it for granted.
my friend calls c-sections one of the greatest medical advances since antibiotics and vaccines.
and like you said, i'm not an expert and i don't think i could go toe-to-toe with someone who's been to medical school, i'm so thankful for a doctor who i can trust. david had a double nuchal and that was scary enough!
What an interesting perspective your friends provide. We often here criticism over the high rate of c-sections in the U.S.; however, there are people in developing countries who would love to have access to such a medical advancement.
DeleteThanks for sharing this girl.... GREAT perspective on how much we have to be thankful for in healthcare! :)
DeleteI hate that we even feel the need to defend ourselves. Are we defending ourselves against others' opinions? Or, are we justifying our decisions based on what we *believed* to be true before we were actually in the situation versus what we found to *actually* be true once in the situation?
ReplyDeleteIf you had a c-section, I'm sure there was a justified reason.
If you had an epidural, good for you.
If you brought your child into this world completely naturally, get on with your bad self.
Why do we need to justify how our children entered this world when we are *mostly* not in control of how they make their grand entrance? I didn't plan to be one week past my due date and on pitocin for two days straight any more than my sister wanted to have her son two weeks early via c-section because he was completely breech and not gaining weight. Both situations were pretty much out of our control. Neither situation was ideal.
But, isn't that life? Forces outside of our control propel us to make the wisest decision possible in that given situation.
P.S. If we second guess ourselves and worry about what others think when it comes to our children's entrance into the world, we're positioning ourselves to doubt every other parenting decision we make. And that's a long and winding road. Jesus didn't call us to be a people who doubt, worry, and stress. He has called us to be a people who trust Him and His plan.
As for me, I would like to spend less time justifying my parenting decisions to myself and others and spend more time with my daughter. Or shopping for earrings online at JCrew Factory. Or sleeping. Sleeping is nice.
I can't really tell if you are supporting the post, or anti it because I'm "defending" myself (haha), but, either way, thanks for your comment!! I think it is natural as mothers, and women, to want our decisions to be accepted by others and to want to feel understood; but, of course, NOT when it comes at the cost of a healthy baby etc. I totally agree with you about not being called to a life of worry and stress, but I also fully admit that some times I fall that way.
DeleteGlad we can at least agree in the beauty that is JCrew Factory and sleeping. ;)
Supporting your post. Sorry it wasn't clear. I just hate how moms, myself included, feel the need to defend ourselves. And, I too stress and worry--although much less than I did when my lil one was an infant. I just feel like we're only positioning ourselves for more stress if we keep feeling the need to constantly defend our actions.
DeleteI'm glad that you're at peace with Sam's birth. "Emergency" (those quotation marks are there for my son's birth, not necessarily yours) c-sections can really take a toll on women both physically and emotionally and it took me years to accept what happened.
ReplyDeleteYou brought up a lot of good points and I, too, am grateful for medical intervention. On the other hand, I'm fearful that far too many circumstances are now seen as medically necessary. I was told the day after my surgery that, if we had any other children, they'd need to be delivered via cesarean too. That was a hard pill to swallow - and, although I knew very little at the time about my options, I knew that it didn't sit well with my soul. I was beyond scared when we got pregnant again and I was fearful of another major surgery. Imagine my surprise when people exclaimed how "lucky" I was that I could just schedule his birth date and get it over with!?!?! I told my doctor about my concerns and she said she'd "let" me "attempt" a VBAC. As the due date came closer, she had random stipulations. IF he isn't measuring big....IF you've started dilating before the due date...IF.........
That's when I knew for sure that things are messed up. As if the statistic of 1/3 births happen via C-section weren't enough to teach me that... So I ran. At 34 weeks pregnant, I changed doctors and he was ready to assist with a normal, natural, delivery (of my 10lb. baby!).
Unfortunately, I can't blame the doctors entirely. We are such a litigious society that doctors are in fear of ticking someone off instead of just doing their job. We are also a society that values convenience so that doesn't help. Have to wait for my body to do its own thing? No, thanks! I can just decide on my own when my child is done growing inside me because a certain day and time work best.
I'll stop for now because I'm getting a little heated...I hope you didn't feel any of it directed towards you. I love your post and I just wanted to get some things off my chest.
You make some really excellent points here - things that are absolutely worth considering - so thanks! I do think determining when a c-section is medically "necessary" can be a slippery slope, but I tend to lean towards the "better safe than sorry" philosophy myself. That said, I have thought some about wanting to go in to labor on my own even if we already know that the baby will be delivered via c-section because of some of the things you mention. Is that even possible? Allowed?
DeleteEither way, I fully agree that finding a doctor you trust and who understands your heart and wishes is SUPER important! :)
Thanks girl!
I'm a two-time C-section mom, both times medically necessary (and I do believe they were actually necessary). The first was an emergency. The second was scheduled but resulted in an emergency surgery a few days later. I'm a little bit of a C-section horror story, I guess. But there is no part of me that feels slighted or "less than" because my babies were born in an operating room. I think EVERY part of motherhood reminds me that God is sovereign over all the details of my babies' lives. And I am so, so grateful that He chose for my birth stories to end with living, healthy, precious boys.
ReplyDeleteI had to have an "emergency" c-section the day before my son was actually due. I had started to have contractions that day, and, luckily, also had a scheduled doctor's appointment. I say luckily because as my doctor was checking for a heartbeat around my pelvis, which is where the heartbeat should have easily been heard, she was coming up with nothing. A few moves of the wand and she found his heartbeat up towards my chest. Somehow, my baby who had been head down and just about ready to go a week ago, had turned himself around and was now breech. Because contractions had started already, it wasn't really safe to try to turn him. So she sent me home to get my bags with the orders to report immediately back to the hospital. I cried the whole way home, more so because I was afraid. I had made peace early on with whatever delivery God had planned for me, and this was it. Was it ideal? No. But I was lucky to heal quickly and have no issues both in the surgery and recovery. If I have a second child, I'm leaning strongly toward another c-section, only because I know what that will entail and what recovery should hopefully be like.
ReplyDeleteGreat post E!
ReplyDeleteI think with so many things in the parenting world we want to pick sides and defend our stance BUT in the end there are no SIDES...it is just about everyone's completely unique birth experience and the parents CHOICE on what is best.
Random side note - when I told my OB (who I love) that I wanted a "natural" childbirth she corrected me and said... NO you want a vaginal childbirth... a child being born no matter what the circumstances is the most NATURAL thing in the world.
Yes!!! It is all natural! I like your doctor!
DeleteLove this E! I too had a C-section but I'm pretty sure my pregnancy and newborn days were the same as everyone else's. And 16 months later, who cares? After 13+ hours of labor (I was induced), Sawyer was sunny side up, trying to come out sideways, and they thought he was going to be 10 lbs. I started running a fever and he was de-satting and I couldn't get dilated to 10 and my OB recommended a C-section. I went into the birthing process hoping to deliver vaginally but understanding that a C-section was a potential since I was being induced. My son came out happy and healthy (and smaller than they thought) and I was lucky to have a pretty easy recovery. I love my OB and all the nurses I worked with and had a great experience overall. Now if I could just get rid of the remaining "pooch" that's left over :-)
ReplyDeleteLoved this! I may do a post similar to this because I feel super strongly about it.
ReplyDeleteI had an emergency c section two years ago next month. I was one of those people that prayed for a natural drug free birth. God had other plans. Long story short...I went to get checked on our due date and was low on fluid and admitted immediately. Got some pitocin at 9:30pm, water broke naturally 12:30am, labored on my own to 8cm, by the grace of God asked for an epidural for some weird reason, and my dr came in 40min later and flipped out on the nurses that the baby needed to come out NOW! I was shocked and scared and super sad because I didn't get what I'd planned, but by no means did I feel jipped as soon as I heard her cry.
I had a repeat csection this past October, another girl, and recovery was a little more difficult with a one year old and a newborn, but it was the best delivery/ birth ever. We were apart for a mere 20 or so minutes...she hasn't left my sight since.
God has a plan for all of our babies it's not up to us...we just have to try and roll with it. Thank you for this post! You're awesome! :D
Just to clarify further...my daughter was sunny side up and every time I would contract she would decel. I was also losing oxygen which made her lose oxygen. They ended up inserting a heart rate monitor to her head which slowly faded. Come to find out there was no way she was coming through my pelvis. I am thankful for csections now obviously. Two gorgeous babies later. I opted out of trying VBAC because the first was an emergency and I didn't wait the recommended time to get pregnant again so there is greater risk of rupture.
DeleteWhew buddy! What a discussion!! I enjoyed this post OH SO MUCH. I had a c section because of my breech darling and the disappointment and the "failure" I felt I think contributed to the downward sprial I felt after giving birth to her into a depression. SO many people made me feel guilty and that I was less than a woman because of this and I ALLOWED myself to believe them. Such a touchy topic to so many mothers---but I too believe that a HEALTHY BABY is the only result that matters. Shame on mothers for making others feel guilty/ashamed for their own beliefs. I'm shocked at the resistance this post is getting from a few women as well. Kinda gets my blood boiling a tinch. :) Love you and BRAVO for sharing your feelings. FIST BUMPS ALL AROUND. :) :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteSomething else worth mentioning is that some doctors and studies say that having more than two or three c-sections can be very dangerous for both the mother and the baby. We don't know exactly how many kids we want to have yet (although, probably not more than three), so that is something I think about some times when it comes to the VBAC discussion etc. Has anyone here had success with more than two c-sections? Even more?
ReplyDeleteMy mom had three c-sections :) I was, obviously, the third. And I think I turned out ok! haha.
DeleteOh my, just writing a response to this now after a very depressing night yesterday or reading and falling down the blog rabbit holes on this topic. What a funk I was in, even going through my hospital pictures of my son. I am such an "experience" type of person. I'll go back and reminisce a lot about them, including birth. What was so hard for me was that my body doesn't go into labor with out assistance of induction. I then get horrible back labor and my body doesn't work well with getting pain relief. To make a long story short, my epidural didn't take on both sides and they were also unable to get my spinal block in. This meant that I had to be put under for the birth of my son. No husband in the OR with me and I didn't get to hear that first cry. So my body was very tired from the labor process and then recovering from the surgery ordeal. It was a very hard time to recuperate for myself, but after all the issues, bonding with my son and pushing through to nurse him in the recovery room happened beautifully. I still wonder if we ARE to have a 3rd child and if I should just let go of the idea of spontaneous labor and VBAC. But I think there is a lot of pressure to have a birth plan and not stepping down from it. Like it is your fault if they did an episiotomy, had back labor, needed some assistance and being induced etc....I mean, can't we all just be happy we experienced pregnancy that resulted in a birth of a new life?
ReplyDeleteWell, Thirty years ago the very same comments, thoughts, views, etc. were being expressed!! This is nothing new, at ALL!! I totally agree with Mrs. G's comment!! Why can't women just let nature take it course, and do whatever happens!! it is not about a plan, it is about your baby!! I could top all of your "horror" stories with mine!! My second child's birth, also a C- Section (planned) went just fine, as PLANNED!! But one week later, I developed Toxic Shock Syndrome (a very rare, new situation usually related to tampon use!!) I truly almost died, actually remember experiencing a very real after-life experience, seeing the light and having God tell me to "go back", It was not my time, I had a newborn and a two year old, (guess who??) I remember my dad standing by my side telling me to wake up... A scary time indeed for my entire family! In the end, after being hospitalized for 5 weeks or so, my husband losing his job due to my illness, living with my parents, who by the way were my life savers, Suffering through terrible depression, carpal tunnel surgery, countless days of pain and frustration, We did not blame the doctor, or the C-Section, the hospital! We were just happy that our beautiful baby girl was with us, and perfect in every single way! To this day, my "scar" annoys me, often hurts, looks gross, etc... but in the end, We got a healthy baby, and that is all that matters!! So ladies, relax, you just never know what God has in mind for you.
ReplyDeleteWith my baby on the way in June, I've been thinking about this a lot. I'd like to avoid a c-section, simply because of the recovery time, etc. But if it happens, it happens. However-- on a related note, I have EVERY intention of having an epidural. More power to those who do it au-naturale, but there is no trophy at the end (except a baby) and I'll have my baby with less pain, thankyouverymuch.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh I could have written this post! All.of.it. Well except that I was the one developing a fever (not baby) and my baby had a true knot in his umbilical cord and had to spend his first two days in the NICU. Thanks so much for sharing. You're right, not many people talk about it. My scar was so sensitive and tingly for MONTHS. Nobody told me about that so I kept thinking something must be wrong. Glad I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I had a very difficult birth experience because I had an abruption, so my baby was born not breathing on his own. I didn't see him for hours, and didn't hold him until he was almost a week old. While I've always been interested in natural childbirth, I am SO grateful I was in a hospital when I abrupted, because otherwise my outcome could have been very different. But I do find it a hard balance to be grateful for my healthy baby while also letting myself feel sad about the birth experience I really wanted, but missed.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I wasn't too attached to any particular way of giving birth, except I knew I wanted loads of drugs! Definitely NOT the popular opinion or way to go, but there you go. Aidan is 11 now and happt and healthy. My birth story is here: http://anywhere-is.net/my-family/aidans-birth-story/
ReplyDelete- Ronni
anywhere-is.net
I loved this post. I have had 3 sections; 1 emergency and the following 2 were planned (my dr says once a section always a section). With my 1st baby I went in for a routine, vaginal delivery. My doctor broke my water, no progress. She gave me more medicine, no progress. I got my epidural, no progress. My baby girl was showing signs of trauma, so my dr called an emergency section. I lost it when she first told me this, but minutes later I had my first precious baby girl. If my doctor had not had the insight to call a section, or if it had been before doctors performed sections, my baby and I might not be here today. Thank you Lord for sections! At first I struggled with thinking that I had not "given birth", but have since realized that I did and that I did in a very huge way. We are "mama" as soon as that precious little blessing is born, no matter how he/she was delivered! Like I said, thank you Lord for my healthy babies that were delivered via c-sections!!!
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my best friend also had to have an emergency c-section when she delivered her baby last year and he had the cord wrapped four times too. the doctor and nurses had never seen it before. she didn't want to have the c-section, but after it was done she was so thankful that she did because the doctors knew he wasn't turning for a reason and that reason was the cord. so glad you posted this. hopefully it will take away any doubt people have and just allow them to trust the doctors and God.
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