- Sam has two GIANT bumps/bruises/cuts on his head right now (neither of which, for the record, was acquired on my watch). This is nothing out of the ordinary, really, but it seems like everywhere I go people make comments about how "tough" he looks or "what a boy" he is. The problem? When you say "Wow, he's a real rough and tumble boy," I know what you are really saying is, "Wow, what a negligent mom you are." Nothing like motherhood to teach you humility.
- On a similar note... Last night, Sam and I met some friends at a neighborhood park we had never been to before. We parked across the street and had to cross two lanes of traffic to get to the playground where our friends were waiting and waving. When we got to the curb, the walk sign was showing a flashing red hand which, to me, means "hurry up," so... I hurried up. Unfortunately, Sam didn't get the memo. He was just putting along and, sure enough, the light changed and everyone was waiting for us. Naturally, I walked even faster; and, naturally, Sam decided to quit walking all together and went completely limp. So... Basically, I drug Sam across the street, almost pulled his arm out of socket, and held up traffic while I did it. #onemoreforthewin
- I was running a tad bit late on the first day of school (go figure) so I skipped making coffee and opted for a Diet Dr. Pepper from the drink machine in the lounge instead. Like I have done millions of times before, I put my $1.25 (highway robbery) in the machine and waited; but, the drink never came. CRISIS! I pushed several other buttons, attempted to get my money back, inserted an additional dollar, and - eventually - complained to the custodian when she walked by and saw my distress. Then... just as she came to investigate the stealing machine... I actually got down and looked inside and... there it was... my drink. It had been sitting there all along. I'm a moron.
- I just wrote an entire paragraph about getting a Diet Dr. Pepper from a drink machine.
- I have physically written the dates for the Parenthood (Sept. 26th) and Scandal (Oct. 3rd) season premieres on my calendar. It's going to be a wild fall around here people.
- Last week I noticed a small pile of Sam's fingernails in his little trashcan. This made me realize that I have not cut his nails in, like, EVER. Apparently, the grandparents and sitter have been quietly taking care of this task and I've been living in a fantasy world where fingernails cut themselves. #ittakesavillage
I think that's enough dirt for one day! Can't wait to read what humiliating things you've been doing... You have been doing humiliating things, haven't you?
Parenthood! I cannot wait!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL, vending machines annoy the crap out of me. this summer at the pool the one and only time I used ours, they provided me with an open bag of peanut m&m's. why, thank you. I couldn't have opened them myself!
ReplyDeleteThat is a really really random list of things, but very unique though. I haven't seen Parenthood yet.
ReplyDeleteit's not taking my link? is it working?
ReplyDeleteI just tried, and it worked ok for me. Did you enter an email address? You have to fill all blanks before it will accept it. Otherwise, ???? Sorry!
DeleteYup entered it all, let me try on the iPad
DeleteSuccess on the 4th try lol, I think my title was too long
DeleteI love parenthood!!
ReplyDeleteour old daycare used to cut Saige's fingernails and then she started biting them so I completely forgot about this child hygiene step until one bedtime I crawled in with her for a snuggle and her razor blade toenails almost broke skin on my leg so I can SO relate!
ReplyDeleteone time I left my North Face puffy vest in my office and when I got back from coffee break it was gone. there was a "teen group" being held in our conference room so I basically - in my mind - accused them of stealing my outerwear (cue the, "those good for nothing hoodlums, no respect" self talk) and then I climb into my car after work and "TA DA!" I must have brought it to Starbucks and left it on the passenger seat. I felt like such an a$$.
you need to warn me when you're doing your link up so I can prepare a post.
You had me laughing through the whole list....until I got to Parenthood!!!!! AH!!!!!! I cannot wait for the season to start. 0926 baby!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same about parenthood. CANNOT WAIT. and also, when I had a second kid, I was all, OMG I HAVE TO CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS TOOOOO??? THIS SUCKS. I don't even get to do my own friggin' nails. Needless to say, I only cut them once my older one complains that her sister pinched her to the point of blood, then I know they're too long. #momwinsallaround
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at the fingernail one. I leave my daughter's for way too long,then she ends up scratching me. I wish someone would cut her nails for me!
ReplyDeletecutting toddler nails is the WORST. i remember dreading cutting david's nails when he was a newborn, but now that he's a toddler, cutting newborn nails is like taking a vacation.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I'm humiliated! Writing my confessions right now. I cannot wait for Parenthood. I think it's the best show on tv!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminders about my fave shows! I have been watching Parenthood from the start, and I recently went on a Scandal bender and got caught up. So.Good. Oh, Fitz...haha...
ReplyDelete