Trade?

Um... So, my Kindle e-reader is missing.  I'm literally heartbroken.  It was last seen wearing a cute brown leather case and sitting on the banister at the top of my stairs last night at approximately 8PM.  At this point, I've enlisted several search parties and torn - my - house - apart.  No luck.

Interestingly enough, I DID find something strange in my house this morning.  At first glance, it was just a plain paper grocery bag; but, upon further investigation of its contents, I found: 2 Old Navy Women's Tops - Size Medium, 6 drinking glasses (each wrapped individually with plastic bags), and... a baggie of Amish Friendship Bread/ raw dough.

Here is photographic proof, in case you think I'm making this stuff up.

Could this be some twisted form of ransom?  A trade?  What kind of world do I live in? Honestly.

I'm sorry... but, as nice as these items are - and as valuable as that bag of yeast is - they are no replacement for my Kindle.

To the Owner of the Bag:

I was planning on letting your bread die.  BUT, luckily, the instructions call for the responsible party to simply "mush the bag" on days 1-9.  I feel like I can do that.  I will take good care of your dough, but I do expect you to treat my Kindle with the same respect.  Your glasses, on the other hand, may or may not be taken by scavengers (i.e. my brother in law) who are trying to furnish their kitchen.

Sincerely,

E

Battle of the Beauty Philosophies

So far, I've been right with Kelly on her 2010 Show Us Your Life topics. Then, today's topic came up... Beauty Tips & Favorite Products. Yep, she has officially lost me.

This is the girl who - I PROMISE - puts on a full face of make-up every.single.morning. and by the time the first bell rings at 8:25 is unintentionally sporting the au naturale face look. My mom asks me, oh just about every time she sees me, IF I am wearing make-up and acts SHOCKED when she can see a little mascara. Seriously, my face rejects goo. I can't help it.

Luckily, there is a beauty expert in my family.  Yep, you guessed it... My sister!

I asked her to write a Guest Post for my blog today... But, since I disagree with about 90% of her tips and this is MY blog, I decided, instead, to bring you...

The Battle of the Beauty Philosophies:

Face:

I'm not into "goo."  Period.  I embraced my freckles a long time ago, and I think it looks AWFUL when girls try to cover them up with foundation.  I truly prefer the "natural" look.  Bare Minerals face powder is my tride and true!  (Although, I admit, more of it ends up on my bathroom floor most days than actually on my face.)

First and foremost ladies, no matter how pretty you are.... Or more importantly, how pretty you THINK you are, you will always and I mean always look better with make up. Forget the "I want to look natural" stuff, it takes a lot of make up to look "natural." I promise. If you're anything like me, the more face make-up, the better.  Please, at the very least, use concealer.  No one wants to see your acne.

Blush is my go-to.  I LOVE it.  If I had to be stranded on an island and could only have one product - or just run to the grocery store quickly before taking a shower - I would choose blush.  Truthfully, it will be soaked into my skin and non-existent in an hour... So I say, the more the merrier!  I like rosy cheeks.

My sister LOOOOoVes blush, don't get me wrong, I love it too; but I'm more of a bronzer kind of girl, who the hell doesn't want to look like a greek goddess? I know I do!

Eyes:

Boring brown eye-shadow.  Brownish/Black Mascara.  A good Q-tip for blending and removing.

I can't stress it enough, wear eye liner. I don't care if it's electric blue, or light brown, PUT IT ON! Ugh. I'm obsessed with eye liner. Mom says I sometimes look like a hooker, but whatever.

Lips:

Despite my New Year's Resolution, I HATE lipstick. I will never be a lipstick wearing gal. Sorry mom! (Once my mom told me she would ONLY buy me the beautiful sunglasses I was covetting, IF I put on some bright red lipstick at the Clinique counter and kept it on all day as we shopped.  I did it.  I looked like a clown.  I got the sunglasses.  That's pretty much the end of my relationship with lipstick.)

This is tricky. I have tiny, thin lips, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR HUUUGE LIPS (You can quote me... I WILL get my lips done later in life.) Sooo... most days I just wear pale pink Lipslicks from Cover Girl, it makes 'em look bigger. But, if I'm feeling like a vixen, then I'll definitely go for the bright red. Big Apple Red from Mac is awesome.

Hair:

This is kind-of a sore subject for me.  I know all the things I'm supposed to do... But I usually opt for an extra 30 minutes in the bed instead.  I'm working on mastering the perfect hair-cut... One that requires nothing but a blowdryer and a brush.  The one I have now - the wedge with side swept bangs - seems to be the most low maintenance.  If one side flips out and the other curls under, it looks like its meant to be that way... At least that's what I tell myself.

Okay, here the part where I rip on sis. If you have frizzy, not sleek hair, run a straighter through it. It won't kill you, I promise, and while you're at it, all you lazy ladies, put some hair smoother in it. For real, it takes 2 seconds, costs 4 dollars and without a doubt will make you look like ten times better. I promise.

This picture, from Christmas with our good friends Alex and Emily, pretty much sums up our differences.  (And, for those of you wondering... I DID go on Facebook for .5 seconds to get this photo... BUT, I did not read any messages or even update my feed.  Don't judge.)

Honestly, HOW are we even related?  :) 

Whose philosophy do you live by?

I'm Not Sure Which Is Worse

If you've been reading my blog for any significant amount of time, you know that my experiences at the gym are always... interesting, to say the least. This evening, of course, was no exception.  Literally, the ONLY thing that got me through the kickboxing class was pondering in my head over and over again...

Which is worse????

..... That the entire aerobics room is surrounded in mirrors. (I know some people actually look GOOD in exercise clothing, but honestly, this is like ancient Chinese torture techniques.)

..... That there are women in the class that are literally 2.5 times my age and do not break a sweat!

OR

..... That the INSTRUCTOR was eight months PREGNANT and PUT... ME... TO... SHAME!

(Those of you that have had babies, PLEASE tell me this is not normal!  I'm not sure I can take much more!)