Friday, September 17, 2010


"Répondez, s'il vous plaît!" 
(Maybe if I said it like that, people would actually do it.)

Ok - don't start panicking - I'm not writing this as a rant towards anyone in particular.... Really, it's just an observation about my own generation (I'm guilty too), and I call for change...

Is it just me, or have the letters R-S-V-P completely lost their meaning in our society?  People see it at the bottom of an invitation and promptly disregard them, leaving party-planners around the country clueless when it comes to how much food to prepare, how many favors to buy, or (if you're me) if anyone is even going to show up.  It's an epidemic, really.

Just this past week, I sent out three facebook invitations for different events coming up in the next few weeks.  As of this morning, one of my events had eight confirmed guests and fifty-six "awaiting response."  NO ONE said "No."  (In their defense, there were three "maybe"s... At least these people own their indecisiveness.)

*Some might argue that facebook, in itself, is part of the problem.  BUT, I'd say it gives even less excuses for lack of response.  You don't even have to dial a phone number or open an e-mail.  RSVPing is, literally, at the push of a button.

So, what's the problem? My theory is two-fold:

1.) People my age don't like to commit - honestly, to anything.  We don't respond to invitations because, heaven forbid, something better might come up.  Just admit you've done it, we're all on the same page here.  Likewise, we are so busy and over-booked, that we just don't know on MONDAY how we are going to feel on WEDNESDAY.  Sometimes I think I'd be better off just to send invitations on the morning-of.  That's when we make our plans, right?

2.) We have this weird "guilt" about saying "NO."  You know how this goes... Someone (usually just an acquaintance) sends you an invite to an event called "Party to Raise Money for Whales."  Deep down, you know they just invited everyone on their "friend list," and they wouldn't notice if you came or not.  (Which, by the way, I DO NOT do.)  You don't necessarily have plans, but you just don't want to go -- it's OK, folks.  However, if you respond "NO," then all the sudden... you HATE whales or something.  It's stressful, I admit. 

Please, let's not go to mailing self-addressed, stamped envelopes for every little shin-dig.  (Weddings deserve some extra cost, right?)

In conclusion friends, I say we bring back the RSVP.  Let's all just agree --- Saying you can't go to a party - whether its because you actually have other plans, or because you just don't want to - IS FINE.  In fact, most hosts would rather you just tell them.  Let's promise not to judge each other when they don't go to the "Recycle" parties, or even just the run-of-the-mill birthday party.  We're all busy.   We're all incredibly popular. ;)  Also, if you commit to something early and then can't go... That's ok too.  You tried.  Maybe just shoot your host a text and let them know.  Or, at the very least, apologize later.  As far as I know, friendships don't end over this stuff.  Just commit already! Ok?

(Haha- I wonder how many facebook responses I'll get today?!?)


  1. lol! I agree with you 100%!!

    BTW--whatever came of your book club? I actually bought the book but haven't had a chance to finish it. I was wondering what sort of questions were discussed and all. :)

  2. amen! i hate when im the one who puts in all the effort to host the shower/party/whatever, and then no one can decide if they're coming! annoying!

  3. I could not agree more!! I will say, I ALWAYS RSVP. Always. However, I am so freaking guilty of saying "yes" just because I can't think of an excuse. And I'm afraid that someone will ask me why I said no. Isn't that insane? Here's to saying NO if you want to, and pledging to RSVP always :)

  4. Amen Sista!!! I can't stand when people don't RSVP!

  5. I could not agree more!! I'm in event planning, so maybe that is why I get so frustrated when people do not RSVP... But seriously! It's just plain rude to not RSVP in a timely manner!!

  6. This is so true. I just hosted a diaper shower last Sunday for one of my good friends and I just asked them to call if they were not going to be able to be there. I got one call, 4 out of the other 11 did not show.


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