Thursday, March 31, 2011


(That title sounds like the name of a dirty soap-opera, doesn't it?  Don't worry, no sex or scandals here... Just a pregnant woman being real about some of the less-glamourous sides of preparing for a baby.)

First off, I'm fat.  Not like chubby or cute, just fat.  I've gained A LOT of weight so far in this pregnancy.  Twenty pounds at 24 weeks, to be exact.  Maybe this doesn't sound horrible to you, but consider this: my doctor told me at the beginning of my pregnancy that he would prefer I only gain 20 - 25 pounds the ENTIRE time.  Awesome.  I don't really know why I'm sharing this... I've tried to be kind-of private about my weight since getting pregnant; but, I do want to be real on my blog.  I'm just going to be honest and say I'm tired of all the adorable bloggers who gain 15 pounds total and never have to switch to maternity clothes.  Maybe that is/will be you.  But, if so, you are one of the LUCKY ones.  My reality has not been like that.

I'd like to blame my weight gain on Baby C.  But, according to our doctor's appointment yesterday, he weighs 1.5 pounds.  That'll make a big mama feel good! ;)  If I'm really being truthful, I have let myself splurge and eat whatever I want during this pregnancy.  I've also all but given up on any form of physical exercise.  On the one hand, I really want to be able to do that --- when else can you and not be judged?  But, on the other, I'm ashamed and wish I'd made wiser eating and exercising decisions from the beginning.  At this point, there really isn't much I can do about those 20 pounds except try to slow down the remaining weight gain.  (Which, just in case you didn't know, will be difficult since the third trimester is when you are supposed to gain about 50% of your weight.) Awesome.

My other confession.  My house is a DISASTER these days.  We finally decided to set up a nursery where we are (yes, the house is still on the market but we haven't had much interest and we aren't really pursuing it further).  In fact, my sweet husband is at home painting as I type.  I am so so excited about this! BUT, the result has been total chaos.  My upstairs looks like a tornado hit it.  There is a TV in the middle of the office floor, a stroller filled with miscellaneous baby items in our bedroom, and we won't even discuss the guest room.  Meanwhile, the downstairs isn't much better.

My parents obviousl, agree with my sentiments, as they cut out (and so kindly labeled) this comic for me from Sunday's paper:  (j/k Mom & Dad, I know you love me... mess or not!)

Funny huh?  Maybe.  Except my house ALREADY looks like that and I can't blame an infant.  I'm not going to lie... As my due date gets closer and closer and the reality that I will almost definitely go back to work afterwards sets in, I have a good bit of anxiety about how I will function.  We will most definitely need a live-in cleaning lady... Which will kind-of defeat the purpose of me going back to work in the first place.  Oy vey! (P.S. One of my first thoughts when I read this was: "What's the point of a chocolate IV, then you wouldn't be able to taste it!"  See above point.)

And finally, I just haven't felt like a good friend lately.  This probably bothers me even more than the above two complaints/confessions.  I feel busy and, in all honesty, self-absorbed.  It's been weeks since I've talked to some of my very closest friends.  I value friendships SO much, and I KNOW how much I will need them after Baby C is born.  So, I'm frustrated that they seem hard to me right now.  Like, if given the choice between a nap and a walk or phone call with a buddy, I'd almost always choose the nap.  Friends, I'm really sorry.  Thank you for loving me despite this phase.  I promise, one day, I'll repay the favor. 

Ok... that's enough whining for one day.  Thank you for listening.  I'm not looking for sympathy in return; but really, it feels good to get some of that off my chest.  Maybe to some of you who are also pregnant or just going through a transition stage in life, it will provide some comfort that you are not alone.  We don't have to be supermoms, even BEFORE baby is born! 

And, at the end of the day, no matter what these days look like... THIS makes it all worth it:
That's my little man at his 24 weeks appointment yesterday.  Everything is still looking perfect.  And, I'm convinced he's going to be a pistol - just look at the way he's flexing those guns already!  :)


  1. Oh E, I've been in a 'transitional' stage in my life for the past decade (though a baby has not been part of my package). I think the thing that keeps me going sometimes is remembering that if you don't have transition, then you're not really living are you? Also, though it may not get any easier, I promise the more transition you have, the more equipped you become to deal with it; so just buckle up, don't be too hard on yourself, and try to enjoy it! Oh, and your friends probably appreciate you taking a nap instead of having non-quality phone time; they're your friends b/c they want the best for you. ;) (Just my two cents).

  2. Ugh, it's tough to feel like this. Like your stuck and you don't where to start.

    Here's my unsolicited advice: I would take the "do one thing" approach (yes, I am an avide Real Simple reader) and the one thing I would recommend, get a cleaning lady.

    My job is insane as is my husbands. One of the ways we cope with this is by having someone come in every two weeks and clean our house. I cannot put into words what wonders this does for us. It takes the pressure of us, it means we can do something we can enjoy together on a Tuesday night or Saturday afternoon instead of mopping. Everyone has their coping tools, this is ours. I know for me, having this pressure off and the time back makes a big difference in how smoothly the rest of our life runs.

    Give it shot -- it might help. And if you hate it after one or two cleanings, cancel the service.

    Thanks for keeping it real :) We all struggle with stuff and it helps to share!

  3. I'm 5' 5" and I gained alot of weight during my first pregnancy too. I think it's what normal people do. That's what I told myself at least! = ) Just go with it.

  4. See, I was different than you, I gained most my weight at the latter end, and not most in the beginning. You could just be the other way around! Not necessarily still have a lot of weight to gain, ya know? My first 4lbs I gained was at my 24 week appointment. However, to be fair, I DID puke my brains out for 24 weeks straight. Best diet ever. But sucked big time.

    My theory is this...enjoy food. Gain some weight. Have the baby. Get breastfeeding established (if thats your plan), and then? Start weight watchers. Its breastfeeding friendly and weight just flies off. You'll be GOLDEN. I think I will seriously do weight watchers after every single pregnancy from here on out. And next time? I won't wait till she's almost 7 months old to start :)

  5. I really love your honesty! And hope you feel a little better getting that out, its great you are self aware. We all have our imperfections! What really matters like you said is that little guy in side you and the fact that you are going to be a GREAT mom :) Best of luck in the rest of your pregnancy!

  6. It seems totally reasonable to gain weight during pregnancy when you're working full time, feeling exhausted and hibernating a bit while the weather's freezing...please don't feel bad about the weight gain! It's well within a healthy range in my perspective. I was surprised to walk by a maternity store the other day and see Heidi Klum had a line of clothes. That to me is illustrative of the unwelcome pressure on women to look great/fit/stylish during a demanding 40 weeks. You look pretty at any weight so no worries!

  7. E - who is your OB/GYN? I did a rotation with several in the area when I was still in school and was wondering. I hope everything is going well!! I love your blog!

    - Kat Min

  8. Dont feel bad about the weight gain! My OB told me the same thing (20-25 lbs), and yes, in retrospect, I wish I would have only gained that much. I actually gained twice that--about 40 lbs--and breastfeeding was the magic that made the weight come off. Don't get discouraged after you first give birth and realize you've only dropped about 10-12 lbs. It will all come off eventually!

    Also, RE: working out, it helped me to view working out as preparation for labor. This perspective helped me focus on exercises that would make labor easier--walking, swimming (used a kick board and did breast stroke kicks), hip rotations on a yoga ball, etc. These also help the baby to "drop" as the third trimester comes to a close. I probably would not have had the motivation otherwise to get off the couch and work out! [Full disclosure: I usually napped before AND after my work outs.]

  9. Although I am thrilled to be pregnant, and so excited for what this means for our family, I have really struggled emotionally during this pregnancy, and I can completely relate to feeling like a bad friend/wife etc. I don't weigh myself, so I have no idea how much I've gained, but I'm DEFINITELY in maternity clothes (I'm not one of those 'only in the belly' ladies!). As for working out, before I was put on pelvic rest (arg) I found prenatal yoga and Lizbeth Garcia's prenatal Pilates DVD to be the most helpful; the DVD is divided into 10 minute segments, and I do think that it was helping to prepare my body for labor.

    Also, there are few things that I choose over a nap these days. Totally serious.

  10. I found your blog through Kelly's Korner - we also live in VA, but in the Charlottesville area. I'm about 16 weeks along and I know what you mean about the weight gain. I want to punch some people in the face when I hear about only 15 pounds. Good chance I'm at 15 already. :) I did the same with my first daughter, and I like to exercise... some people just don't only gain the 15-20 pounds when pregnant and I am DEFINITELY one of them :) You're not alone!!

  11. I was blog hopping this morning and just came across your cute blog!!

    Can I just say amen to this post! I'm 17 weeks along with my second pregnancy and this weight gain thing just does NOT get any easier!!! I am not the lucky girl that can wear her regular clothes. I get to week 13 and bring out the maternity clothes! My hips spread my tummy immediately pooches and well the girls up top grow out of control! So I feel ya! Thanks for your honesty in thi post! I can totally relate!!


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