Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Letter to New Moms from Sara

Dear New Mom: 

"I can't remember life before you and I can't imagine life without you."

I stole that line from my wedding vows and added it to each of my children's baby books. It's poetic and sweet and 100% not true

Of course I remember life before babies, how could I forget?
Life was unscheduled back then, 
Meals went unplanned.
Sleep wasn't a luxury. 

Oh the carefree days of childlessness...

Packing for last minute road trips, 
Watching full length movies with my eyes open, 
Peeing without interruption, 
Shopping without lists and time frames {and meltdowns}.

The good ol' days.

Yes, I'd be lying to say I don't miss parts of my pre-kid life or that I'm not sometimes envious of my baby-less friends.
I miss the freedom.
I miss the feeling of guiltlessness.
I miss my perky boobs.

This is not meant to scare you. 
Or serve as a warning. 
Or read like a chapter from Sara's 
book on parenting 
{which doesn't exist by the way}.

For all I know - and hope - becoming a mom has been the perfect fit for you; like a glass slipper to Cinderella's foot.

But what happens when the shoe doesn't fit?

Motherhood hasn't been all talking mice & fairy godmothers. My 'Once Upon a Time' started off with me being stitched up, stunned and totally ill prepared. I remember the nurse placing Saige on my chest and instead of the stars aligning and me feeling like my life finally had purpose, I just stared into her unfocused eyes and thought 'is this when I'm supposed to cry and tell the world how beautiful she is?'. I worried that my less than perfect reaction to her birth meant I was already a less than perfect mom. I worried that I was much too selfish, impatient, lazy,  fill in the blank  to be any good at this parenting gig. 
* for the record she was and continues to be unabashedly beautiful *

I kept my insecurities secret for a really long time. I decided I was the only mom missing pieces of my old life; the only mom not loving every second of motherhood; the only mom not wearing glass slippers and a genuine smile.

But then I started blogging. I started writing about my reality - the tears, the rookie mistakes, the loneliness, the mommy guilt. I started reading other blogs too and realized I wasn't alone in my daily struggles with nap-times and meal prep and getting off Facebook and into something other than pajamas. Finally - after one agonizingly long & lonely maternity leave - I felt:

understood / supported / normal
My hope is that this letter brings my fellow Ugly Step-Sisters that same kind of comfort. We can't all be perfect Cinderellas. It's okay to run around barefoot sometimes and if you don't feel like mothering happily ever after today, tomorrow or even the next, that's okay too. Just cause we do it doesn't mean we have to love every moment. Saying this doesn't make us villains - or any less of a mother - it just makes us honest.

Of course I remember life before my babies, but I can't imagine life without them; and, in my fairy tale, that's all that matters.


Love, Sara

Sara writes candidly at SaigeWisdom.  She and and husband Trev live in Canada where they are raising two adorable tots - Saige (3) and Gabriel (7 months). We actually first "met" when she won the custom bumper similar to Sam's back in the summer... It was meant to be, because I think we are "blog soul-sisters."  I love her humor, her curly red hair, and the fact that she's not afraid to admit that she's usually a hot mess and sometimes farts in yoga class.  :) 

If you  missed it, read Libby's letter from yesterday here.  We'll have another one tomorrow; and, don't forget the link-up on Sunday.  Be writing your letters ladies, I know you've got lots to say!


  1. This is awesome. I appreciate Saige's honesty...and am totally jealous of her hair. Grrr. :)

  2. Sara's letter = funny, real, true!!

    Saige Wisdom is one of my favorite daily reads!!

  3. thanks E for not only asking me take part in your guest post series but for punctuating my post; it's pretty obvious I'm not a school teacher.

    and thanks Erika and Jena for being too kind.

    I think I love this blog more than my own... tradesies?

  4. Great letter Sara! Very well written :) I am sure that tons of moms relate to these words


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