Tuesday, May 28, 2013

It's Bachelorette Time!

Does life get much better than a three day weekend capped off with the season premier of The Bachelorette with friends, wine, and tons of chips and salsa?  I think not.  

Honestly, compared to lots of girls I know (ahem, Mom and Kathryn) I don't watch much reality TV (or TV in general really).  I'm not really into drama, and I much prefer to get my smut in the form of blogs and other social media over TV.  But, for some reason (I really don't know why), I've been a loyal fan of The Bachelor/ The Bachelorette almost since the very beginning (a quick scan of Wikipedia revealed that I've actually missed more seasons than I thought, but, whatever, I've been watching a long time). When the show first started in 2002, I was a senior in high school, and I can vividly remember watching the early seasons in college and thinking how "old" some of the contestants seemed... Fast forward 11 years (whoa), and I'm watching this premiere on the floor of my sun-room with a baby-monitor thinking "when did these guys get so young?" Weird how that happens huh?

Anyway, I was obviously pretty excited for the season premiere of Dez's Bachelorette last night. Despite the fact that she wasn't really one of my favorites on Sean's season*, I love any excuse to have a girl's night on a "school night" and - I admit - I kind-of love the way women all over the US "unite" to talk about it on social media etc.  (FYI: If you aren't on Twitter during the episodes you are MISSING OUT.)
*I know there are a lot of Dez fans out there... I have nothing against her, something about her just seemed a little to fake to me last go around.  But, I'm giving her a fair chance this season, and she did look beautiful last night!)

That said, I was a little disappointed in the episode to be honest.  I miss Dez's bangs.  I hate how the producers make her (I'm assuming/hoping they make her) do silly things like roller skate in knee-highs and chase sea-gulls.  And, really, the men were not all that impressive...

I'm not sure who started the game of "make a lasting impression" when you get out of the limo, but I'm not a fan.  I don't want a knight, a dancer, a perv, a poet, or a suit-designer - just shake my hand and tell me your name.  Seriously!  (Yes, I realize that there is good reason why I'm not on this show.)

In addition, is it just me, or did they all look EXACTLY alike (and all have "B" names last night).  Thankfully, ABC provided a spreadsheet.  

And finally, as if having a pile of identical clowns isn't bad enough, the first night combined with the carefully chosen "previews" for the rest of the season always leave me feeling a bit confused and stressed...

Case in point: I think Ben is adorable (nevermindthathetotallyexploitedhiskidatthebeginning), but the previews make him look like he's going to be the next Blakely of the bunch.  Great.
Oh, also, did anyone else think his description of the Baby Mama was odd?  Just me?

Also, I got so distracted by the awkward moment when Jonathan tried to "woo" Dez by asking her to sleep with him right away (Dating 101, son, Dating 101), that I didn't even pay attention to who he was.  Then, five minutes later I tweeted: "I like the lawyer from North Carolina." Awesome - Now I sound like some kind of hussy.

It's all so very confusing on the first night... Really, I'd be fine just to skip to about Episode 5.

Lest this post becomes any more of a train-wreck than it already is, I'll end with this:

I was glad to see Larry (aka: Creepy Glasses Guy that made way too big a deal out of the fact that his intro didn't go as planned) go, and was super confused by Dez's decision to keep Zak W. (aka: naked boy), James (who is way too pretty to really be a boy but, clearly will be around a while), Kasey (#hashtagboy), and Mikey (aka: The Hulk).

Basically, I'm about 98% confused by this season already and very uninvested in the men so far.  

I'm putting my money on Will - because he likes high fiving so much, Juan Pablo - because he has two names, and Dan - because he has stayed relatively quiet (and kind-of looks like a Ken doll, don't you think?).

What about you? Did you watch?  What did you think?

Until next week,

(All photos from www.abc.go.com)

P.S. It has come to my attention recently (and this show totally reiterated it for me) that there are VERY few boy names in the universe.  Ben/Will/Dan/Robert/Mike/Steve - I can hardly even think of any other names for boys.  (There is, of course, also Bryden - but I'm pretty convinced that he made up that name for the show.  Were people really using 'y's in names like that 26 years ago?)


  1. You left out 'Matt' as a unique and underused boy name (of yesteryear and today)! I mean, my Matt NEVER has to share his name with anyone!! (here's a typical scenario: "who's going to dinner?" "erika and matt, shana and matt, trish and matt, rachel and matt..."...no joke. And this is just from within our church of about 80 people!)

    Sorry- long rant to start. Last night was a trainwreck!! That ER doc with glasses was SO creepy, I was relieved to see him go...to say nothing of Creepy Date-raper Jonathan. I must say...this crop of guys...I was like "is this the best America has to offer?? God bless us..." and feeling inordinately happy to have found someone so blessedly normal already!!!

  2. I LOVE your Bach review posts!!!! You voiced each and every thought I had as I was watching the show last night. I was also unimpressed with the guys but I typically am on every first episode until I feel like I get to know them a bit better. Is it just me, or do you think she could eliminate 20 of the 25 on the first night and cut straight down to it? So many weirdos! I also said the same thing about the cheesy limo arrivals. When did each new season become the opportunity to one up the last with such lame antics? Now a-days it is the "normal" entrances that become the most memorable because they are, well.... NORMAL!
    The highlight of my viewing had to be the viewer tweet that said, "I play the rose ceremony music on my ipod every morning when I'm choosing what to eat for breakfast." The music is SO dramatic! That cracked me up. I hope this season is good. It usually never disappoints. Looking forward to all of your reviews in the future. :)

  3. OMG YES!!! I don't know if I'm more excited about the show or your recaps...and that's not an exaggeration! I LOVE talking trash about this show after each episode & when I read these...I may or may not say things like YESSSS to my computer screen when I'm reading..hahaha #hashtagcreeperblogreader :)

    Social Media Boy #hashtagnerd was weird. And Homeboy who asked her to sleep with him on the first night? Um, no.

    And WHAT is the deal with first impressions?!? I'm with you--just say your name and be a gentleman--not a FREAK!!!!

  4. I'm a bit upset she kept the probably gay Brooks and got rid of Dr Larry. I kinda liked the geeky guy

  5. I love your posts about the bachelorette! I am in the same, not a fan of Des, boat. She didn't wow me the first time and I'm not sure she grew on me much last night. I am not a fan of her crying! It seemed like we were only 10 minutes in and she was already crying, I txted my friend saying that it will be a long season with a lot of tears. haha.

    As for the boys, at this point it's so hard for me to keep track! Ben is cute but really, she's too young to want to me a mom...we saw how that worked with Jef. Bryden is cute but active military is gonna be a downfall. #Kaseyisannoying #growup

    can't wait til next week! also, jealous of you being on the east coast, us west coasters can't follow on twitter without it being spoiled. :[

  6. Completely spot on analysis! Such random and boring guys. Your viewing party sounds like fun! Love, love, love your recaps!

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