Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bachelorette Unfiltered: Dez Episode 3

You should probably know that I watched last night's episode with Sam and Jeff - BIG mistake.  As a result, my viewing was disjointed, and this post is all over the place.

Alright, let's start at the very beginning... The dodgeball group date.

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First of all, I LOVE that there is a "Commissioner of the National Dodgeball League." 

I also loved the guys' passion about the game, and it seemed fun enough... THEN, Chris Harrison showed up.  (It's all fun and games until Chris Harrison shows up.)  "Winner takes all."  #bore  #beentheredonethat  #hireanewdatecoordinatorplease

Ok... I obviously can't continue without talking about 1.) their outfits - a bit scandalous, and 2.) Cliff Brooks' very serious FINGER injury. Is it just me, or do people survive broken fingers pretty regularly?

On another note, Michael G.'s hair in that headband? Beautiful.  (As in, he clearly had a stylist do it.)  He probably should have helped Brooks with his hair - maybe his fate would have been different then. ;)

How shocking that Dez decided "everyone won" and took both teams to the party...

I think Brad is pretty adorable.  I also really respect that he waited and told Dez about his son later in the season. (Take note BEN.)  I have him going far, but I'm not 100% sure I buy his "baby mama" story.  Maddox is a good name - just added it to the official "future Baby Chapman name list" on my iphone.  "Well honey, it's a funny story, mommy actually found your name on The Bachelorette."  (Jeff would never go for that.)

Ok. Ok.  I'm starting to like some of these guys...

... And then Brooks returned!  #BrooksisthenextTierra #hehassparkle  She digs him.


Chris is cute cute too.  (Although, he had a funny way of showing his excitement over getting the rose.) Where has he been in the other two episodes?  The private concert is SO overdone, but they do seem to have good chemistry.  I like him too.


Moving on...

I can't really even talk about the whole "Stephanie" saga.  I thought the whole thing was blown WAY out of proportion, and she was totally an actress. And, if she isn't, I'm actually really sorry for her because she acted like a crazy on national television.  (Look, I'm all for girl power, but she didn't really do us any favors.)  I thought Dez looked like she was about to crack up, and Chris Harrison took the whole thing a bit too seriously.  Producers, this was a low blow - no one even cared about Brian.  Brian who?  Am I right?  Hasta la vista baby.  #Stephanieasthenextbachelorette #poorDonovan


That's all I'm going to say about that.


Being the house villain? I can handle that.  Wearing a spaghetti strap man-shirt?  NOT OK.  Ben is dead to me.

Brandon is TOO much.  End of story.

And... Dez got so stressed out by all the drama of the morning, that she apparently forgot to put on pants!?!  Now THAT is a crisis! 
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Kasey (aka #hashtagboy) was pretty cute, I have to admit.  I thought he seemed sweet on his date and totally rocked those spandex pants on the side of the building - he didn't even use a hashtag once in conversation.  The windstorm was hilarious.  My favorite part was when Dez said, "There was no hope in having any quality conversation, so we had to jump in the pool."  Naturally.  Also, man, it was SO dramatic when they showed that rose about to blow away.  I was SO worried.  Thank goodness it survived and she was able to pin it on his undershirt at the end of the date. 

P.S. I really think Dez is the prettiest when she isn't wearing (much) makeup etc.  Anyone else?


Next group date: Filming a Western.  This is perfect because it allowed Dez to see all the guys again in their "natural environment" and be sure they have important skills for marriage such as being able to lasso, draw a pistol, and "fight for justice."  But, of course.
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Bryden is awkward (I'm sorry).  Zak is funny (in a good way) & a little bit of a suck-up.  James is not real. Dan is cute.  Juan Pablo is hot.

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Did you catch it?!?! Bryden swept over his hair on the group date at night.  YES!!!!!

I was shocked that James got the rose.  #thanksdad #shereallydigssadstories

Ok, I gotta hurry this up now because nap time is almost over.  Here are a few final thoughts:

- The final "pool party" was so much nicer than the normal old cocktail party.  It seemed so relaxed and no one was stressed at all about getting "one on one time" or getting the rose.

- We didn't see quite as much of Michael G. this week; but, I think I spotted him in one of those Ben-esque spaghetti strap shirts too.  NO!!!  (Someone please tell me I am wrong!)

- Dez looked really beautiful at the rose ceremony.  She's improving her look each week.  (Was she wearing fake hair?)

- Glad to see Brandon go.  

- Sad to see Dan go.

- Brian who?

Until next week... Killing brain cells one Monday night at a time,

4 comments:

  1. BEN'S MAN TANK TOP!?!?!? It seared my eyeballs. I had nightmares. I made sure to make LOTS of disparaging comments outloud so that Matt would hear and know to NEVER EVER think about purchasing something like that. Ick. Moving on. Loved the boys in cowboy get-up, HATED the blatant product-placement/movie promotion. Biggest Loser started doing that a few years ago and I had to stop watching. Please, ABC, do not get movies/products/brands to sponsor every single date/thing. RIDIC. Umm...the Brian/Stephanie thing was ridiculous...I totally keep forgetting that Kasey was #hashtagboy (thank God)...why did the guys wear Soffee cheerleading shorts for dodgeball??!! Sick. And...that is all. Over and out...til next week.

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  2. Hahahahahaha.... I cannot stop laughing, E!!! boy, I do not even need to watch the beginning of the show after reading this!!! So funny!!!
    That tank top made me sick!!! and his neon trunks!! OH lord have mercy!!
    Anyway, I won't be home to watch with you next week.... but I will be anxious to read your re-cap!! love, love

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  3. Oh my..I have been waiting for your recap! It is even better than watching the show :)

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  4. "It's all fun and games until chris Harrison shows up" lol!!!!
    I think they over reacted just a tad about his finger, and just as Stephanie sat down the weather report for a tornado came on and John and I flipped out!!!

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