- Sam has two GIANT bumps/bruises/cuts on his head right now (neither of which, for the record, was acquired on my watch). This is nothing out of the ordinary, really, but it seems like everywhere I go people make comments about how "tough" he looks or "what a boy" he is. The problem? When you say "Wow, he's a real rough and tumble boy," I know what you are really saying is, "Wow, what a negligent mom you are." Nothing like motherhood to teach you humility.
- On a similar note... Last night, Sam and I met some friends at a neighborhood park we had never been to before. We parked across the street and had to cross two lanes of traffic to get to the playground where our friends were waiting and waving. When we got to the curb, the walk sign was showing a flashing red hand which, to me, means "hurry up," so... I hurried up. Unfortunately, Sam didn't get the memo. He was just putting along and, sure enough, the light changed and everyone was waiting for us. Naturally, I walked even faster; and, naturally, Sam decided to quit walking all together and went completely limp. So... Basically, I drug Sam across the street, almost pulled his arm out of socket, and held up traffic while I did it. #onemoreforthewin
- I was running a tad bit late on the first day of school (go figure) so I skipped making coffee and opted for a Diet Dr. Pepper from the drink machine in the lounge instead. Like I have done millions of times before, I put my $1.25 (highway robbery) in the machine and waited; but, the drink never came. CRISIS! I pushed several other buttons, attempted to get my money back, inserted an additional dollar, and - eventually - complained to the custodian when she walked by and saw my distress. Then... just as she came to investigate the stealing machine... I actually got down and looked inside and... there it was... my drink. It had been sitting there all along. I'm a moron.
- I just wrote an entire paragraph about getting a Diet Dr. Pepper from a drink machine.
- I have physically written the dates for the Parenthood (Sept. 26th) and Scandal (Oct. 3rd) season premieres on my calendar. It's going to be a wild fall around here people.
- Last week I noticed a small pile of Sam's fingernails in his little trashcan. This made me realize that I have not cut his nails in, like, EVER. Apparently, the grandparents and sitter have been quietly taking care of this task and I've been living in a fantasy world where fingernails cut themselves. #ittakesavillage
I think that's enough dirt for one day! Can't wait to read what humiliating things you've been doing... You have been doing humiliating things, haven't you?