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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Working Mom: Lisa (on Breastfeeding/Pumping at Work)

I am a working mom (and I love it); but, if I'm being honest, I feel like most days I'm more "surviving" and less "making it work."  So... I enlisted the help of some dear blog friends to share their experiences, advice, lessons, and encouragement on all kinds of topics related to life balancing a job outside the home and a family. I think this goes without saying, but please know that this series is - in no way - meant to belittle or undermine the work of stay-at-home moms - you are doing an incredibly important JOB, and I have so much respect for you!  That said, I do feel like working moms are sometimes under-represented in the internet world... So, my hope is that this will be a place for working moms of the blogosphere to unite and feel understood, connected, strengthened, and supported (plus, maybe pick up a tip or two)!   Overall, I hope this will be a reminder that (regardless of your situation), you are NOT alone, and you are doing a darn good job! Please introduce yourself and  "join the conversation" in the comments.  

(More from me on being a working mom and all the posts in this series here.)
This week, we've been talking all about the very earliest challenges of being a working mom - pregnancy, maternity leave, and now... breastfeeding & pumping while working*.  This can be such a hard part of the balancing act; but, it can also be very do-able!  Today, Lisa is sharing a little about what she learned from her experience returning to work as an elementary school teacher when her daughter, Mallory, was five months old and pumping for seven months until summer break... Please join me in welcoming her!

Lisa and Mallory at Mallory's first birthday party and the celebration of one year of breastfeeding!
Before I begin, I have to give a little disclaimer... Breastfeeding can be a touchy subject, one where mamas can seem all preachy. I don’t want to be one of those moms who pushes breastfeeding on you. I had a good experience and sincerely just wish other mamas can have one too if breastfeeding is their plan. That said, it was not easy, and I know many mamas have even more challenging situations than I did. Whether you nurse or don’t, you are a good mama making sure your child is getting what he or she needs. So, here’s just a bit of my story, a few tips, and a wish that you can confidently trust yourself and do what(ever) works for you and your little one.

I wasn’t breastfed as a child and honestly knew nothing about it. But, in the end, I found so many advantages in breastfeeding - the bonding, the benefits for my little girl - and, once I got the hang of it, I found nursing easier than making and washing bottles. Nursing became easy and convenient wherever we happened to be. But then, just as I was getting comfortable, I was taunted by the approach of the inevitable date when I would return to work. I started planning my pumping schedule probably three months before I went back. Looking back, I laugh at my Type A planning and how motherhood has taught me to go with the flow. Dropping my plan and grabbing a go with the flow approach seemed to be the key to what helped me make it all work. For 7 months, my little pumping tote was my constant work companion, and I completely accepted the fact that I would have milk on my shirt and be a bit of a mess trying to manage work, pumping, and the rest of my life. Those things aside, being able to continue to breastfeed was one of the things that helped me go back to work as hard as it was to separate from my five month old. Being able to leave those bottles for her each morning and to still nurse in the morning and night got me through. So, here are a few things that helped me, and I hope they may help you, too.

Halloween 2012 - just before returning from maternity leave
Try not to stress. Yes, stress affects your supply. I stressed. I stressed even before I started pumping planning how it would go. There were times my supply would dip, and I would panic that I would not produce enough milk. I’d stuff my face with lactation cookies and tea and worry. I had times I had to push back a pumping time or had to skip one altogether, but despite the ups and downs and supply dips, I had enough. Trust your body will make what you need, and I always told myself if I needed to supplement I would. 

If making it work is your goal, try not to supplement. Okay, so yes, I always kept it in the back of my mind I could and would supplement with formula if I needed to (and I didn’t hold any negative thoughts about formula), but I never did. I think an effort to avoid supplementing helped me keep my milk supply up. If your supply is down, nurse as much as you can when you are with your baby and avoid supplementing. Remember milk production works on supply and demand.

Use any time savers you can find. I quickly started to find time savers that made a big difference for me... a hands free double pumping bra with the bottles set up and ready to pump in the morning with all of the parts as ready to go as possible. In between pumping sessions at work, I put the pieces in a plastic bag in a fridge so that I did not need to wash them in between sessions. I threw everything into a giant bowl in the sink to wash all of the parts in soapy water quickly once I got home. Clothes that make pumping faster like an easy to unhook nursing tank under a button down dress shirt also help. Find what works for you.

Eat and drink! I could tell a huge difference in my pumping sessions when I was eating enough calories and drinking a lot. Keep a box of granola bars in your car and have easy to eat snacks ready to go. Even if you do not think about it during the rest of your busy day at work, have a snack and drink packed in your bag to eat while you pump. I also saw a difference when I ate the oatmeal cookies and drank the lactation teas. (Maybe it was just because my stress level went down when I felt I was doing something that helped my milk production!)

Do what works for you. I can’t tell you that what worked for me will work for you. At some point after countless texts to breastfeeding friends (“Am I doing this right?,” “Is she getting enough?”), Googling “increasing milk supply,” making schedules, and questioning my choices, I realized that there is no right way. Looking back now, I’d tell myself to stop questioning myself. In fact, I’d yell at myself to stop questioning yourself! Trust your gut. Do what works for you whether it be to keep going or to stop. You know what makes a happy and healthy mama and baby.

Watching as I leave for work... So hard to drive off!
I was driving to work the other day thinking about how it felt to walk out the door without my trusty pumping tote, without going through my pumping times for that day in my head, and it felt good. At the same time, I felt a nostalgia...  At the time, it felt like an eternity, a perpetuity of the daily pumping schedule, but after trucking through, here I am looking back in what feels like a blink of the eye. My confidence as a mama has grown leaps and bounds, which is a good thing as there will always be the next mama challenges.  I still am nursing in the morning and at night and working on weaning, potty training will be here soon, and of course... the list will go on.

Summer 2013
*As Lisa mentioned, I realize that the topic of breastfeeding can some times be controversial among moms or draw up insecurities in some of us.  I was able to exclusively breastfeed Sam and work full time only until he was six months old.  At that point, I am not ashamed to admit that we began supplmenting with formula during the day to help ease some of the pressure/anxiety I was feeling and make both of us happier.  I continued to breastfeed in the mornings and evenings until Sam was 10 months old, and then we switched the formula all the time.  It was 100% the right decision for our family.  Ultimately, that's all we are responsible for - you know? - making the right decision for our family.

From my limited experience (I pumped for about three months at work), I second Lisa's recommendation of getting a hands-free bra (this is a MUST HAVE even though it looks absolutely ridiculous) and storing bottles in the fridge between pumping sessions.  I also would recommend a nice little "DO NOT DISTURB" note to put on your office/classroom door for when you are a pumping, a decent "back up supply" of milk in the freezer, and always - always - a spare shirt in your car.  :)

THANK YOU LISA!

Those of you that have worked and pumped, how did you make it work?  
What advice do you have for other moms trying to do it?

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Working Mom: Molly (on Maternity Leave)

I am a working mom (and I love it); but, if I'm being honest, I feel like most days I'm more "surviving" and less "making it work."  So... I enlisted the help of some dear blog friends to share their experiences, advice, lessons, and encouragement on all kinds of topics related to life balancing a job outside the home and a family. I think this goes without saying, but please know that this series is - in no way - meant to belittle or undermine the work of stay-at-home moms - you are doing an incredibly important JOB, and I have so much respect for you!  That said, I do feel like working moms are sometimes under-represented in the internet world... So, my hope is that this will be a place for working moms of the blogosphere to unite and feel understood, connected, strengthened, and supported (plus, maybe pick up a tip or two)!   Overall, I hope this will be a reminder that (regardless of your situation), you are NOT alone, and you are doing a darn good job! Please introduce yourself and  "join the conversation" in the comments.  

(More from me on being a working mom and all the posts in this series here.)

I found Molly's blog about a year ago and immediately fell in love with her writing style and vulnerable voice.  I reached out to her with a corny "I just found your blog and I love it" email, and she's been a great internet friend ever since... Molly and her husband live in her hometown in Missouri with their two little boys and are expecting a baby girl in January, Sawyer.  Today, I've asked Molly to share some of what she has learned about preparing for and returning from maternity leave in her 2.5 experiences so far.  Enjoy!


When I was pregnant with my first son, Landon, I worked as a full-time special events director and I knew I would need to prepare myself both professionally and personally for when I would take my maternity leave. I worked up until I gave birth and the timing actually worked out very nicely. Most of my big events were over in May and I was due in August so I was able to finalize my to-do list before I left. I realize that not all working moms have that luxury!

After twelve weeks of FMLA, my first day back was upon me. I cried so many tears thinking about how difficult the transition was going to be to go back to work. It had never really been a discussion between my husband and I. I just never really felt the push to be a stay at home mom. But that didn’t make it any less hard when I went back. I think what did make it easier was that my mom offered to watch my son 2-3 times a week. I never even researched daycare centers or babysitters because we didn’t need one.

Everyone told me that it would get easier as time went on and they were correct. We started to get into a good routine after a couple of weeks. I had good days and bad days. Some days I wished that I could stay home and spend the day with my son. And some days I was happy for the interaction with adults and the fun parts of doing my job. It was also nice to remain a two-income family and not have to struggle financially.

When I had my second son, Brigham, it was a very different situation. I had been unemployed during my entire second pregnancy but was hired at a new company soon after I gave birth. They were kind and gave me eight weeks before I needed to report for my first day. I can’t say I was ready to leave my baby when he was only eight weeks old but at that point we needed my income. My husband is an RN so he was able to stay home a few days a week to be with both boys while I was at work. Then after five months of working at my job both boys started at a daycare center part-time.

Learning all about a new company in an industry I had never been a part of was interesting and exciting but working full-time with a two-year-old and an infant was tough. Brigham was not sleeping through the night and I found myself tired and overwhelmed a lot of the time. Not to mention that there was nowhere for me to pump. I didn’t have my own office and I often pumped in my car with a cover over me. I didn’t want to complain about that situation because I was the new employee and didn’t want to make a fuss.

Somehow I made it through with the help of my husband, my family and helpful coworkers. This is probably my BEST advice I can give to a mom starting work after maternity leave. NEVER be ashamed to ask for help. There is no way I would have been able to be a successful employee and mom without the help of others in my life. If someone offers you dinner – take it! If someone offers to babysit – let them! Reach out if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

I would even go as far as to say that you could be open and honest with your boss about any complications or setbacks. Unfortunately, we dealt with a lot of sickness with Brigham during his first year. Of course this wasn’t his fault but it caused a lot of stress in all parts of our life. I finally made an appointment with my boss and told her what was going on and tried to explain my absences. Fortunately, she was a mom herself and understood that these things happen. When things finally settled down on the home front I was able to jump in and help more at my job.

Now I am quickly approaching the birth of my third child in January and I still work full-time. Due to the previous challenges I faced as a full-time working mom to two young children, I haven’t fully decided yet if I will come back to work. I am researching other options and hope to be able to work from home after the baby arrives. But I know that no matter what I decide we’ll eventually get into a routine living and working as a family of five.
Read more from Molly at her blog A Day in Mollywood... 


THANKS MOLLY!

I always tell new moms to start the baby in childcare on a Monday and go back to work on a Wednesday.  Anyone else?  What is your advice on preparing for maternity leave? What about returning from it? Please share!


P.S. In continuing with this theme of pregnancy and brand-new working mom stuff, I have another guest post coming up tomorrow on breastfeeding/pumping at work.  It is a must read if you will be in a similar situation any time soon!  See you then!
 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Working Mom: Megan (on Surviving the 1st Trimester of Pregnancy)

I am a working mom (and I love it); but, if I'm being honest, I feel like most days I'm more "surviving" and less "making it work."  So... I enlisted the help of some dear blog friends to share their experiences, advice, lessons, and encouragement on all kinds of topics related to life balancing a job outside the home and a family. I think this goes without saying, but please know that this series is - in no way - meant to belittle or undermine the work of stay-at-home moms - you are doing an incredibly important JOB, and I have so much respect for you!  That said, I do feel like working moms are sometimes under-represented in the internet world... So, my hope is that this will be a place for working moms of the blogosphere to unite and feel understood, connected, strengthened, and supported (plus, maybe pick up a tip or two)!   Overall, I hope this will be a reminder that (regardless of your situation), you are NOT alone, and you are doing a darn good job! Please introduce yourself and  "join the conversation" in the comments.  

(More from me on being a working mom and all the posts in this series here.)

Today, my blog friend and fellow English nerd Megan is stopping in to share some BIG news with us!! ;) Megan is a fabulously passionate teacher - and very generous with her creativity - and she will make a GREAT mama!  Today, she's sharing some things she has recently learned about surviving the first trimester of pregnancy at work:


It's time for the big reveal-- I'm expecting!  My due date is June 13, so we couldn't have asked for better timing in terms of my work schedule.  In a perfect world, I'll be able to finish out the year (barring massive numbers of snow days and/or early delivery), have a beautiful bouncing baby and a summer to enjoy him/her, and start the year as usual for 2014-2015. When I heard about Elizabeth's series for working moms, I knew I had to put something together for her...  While I am a stepmom to a teenage boy, this is my first biological child.  So technically, I am not yet a working mom.  I am, however, just about to finish up first-trimester pregnancy.  And let me tell you, it ain't easy.  Teaching is hard. Pregnancy is hard.  Both are beautiful, too, but sometimes-- it's just hard.  Based on my very short experience and humble opinion, here are some ways I'm managing to make it through and still (kinda) keep it together at school.

8 Tips for Surviving First-Trimester Pregnancy as a Teacher


1. Lean on your colleagues. If you've read this blog for a while, you know how I feel about having a crew of amazing teacher-friends.  I couldn't function without mine.  So, choose a few of your closest teacher-friends, and let them in on your oh-so-exciting secret.  (Mine screamed, and have taken to calling me "Baby Mama!")  When one of them offers to cover for you during the misery of morning sickness, let them.  When one brings you chicken soup, thank them graciously.  More than ever before, lean on your colleagues for collaborative teaching ideas.  You're exhausted and sick; why reinvent the wheel? 

2. Eat frequently. For me at least, the best way to quelch morning all-day sickness is to stay full.  I learned quickly that eating a handful of pretzels or hard candies every hour or so kept my stomach relatively calm.  I'm not usually one to chow down in front of my students, but I just made sure I had plenty to share.  My kids can't wait for me to crack open a bag of pretzels now!  

3. Rest. Lord, they are not kidding when they say early pregnancy exhausts the body.  One of my colleagues informed me that my body was outputting as much energy during the first trimester as a non-pregnant person mountain climbing.  Wow.  By mid-afternoon, I feel like a zombie most days.  What helps?  Sleep.  I take a nap 3-4 days a week after school; I sleep 8-10 hours at night every night; I nap multiple times a day on weekends.  My brain can't function when it's exhausted.  The grading can wait.  

4. Offer whole-class bathroom breaks. Another thing they're not kidding about?  Running to the restroom constantly.  Strange that a blueberry-sized baby can do that, but oh, it can.  My school implemented a new hybrid block schedule this year, and some of our classes are 90 minutes.  Umm, no.  I cannot go that long without a bathroom break.  So I used the opportunity to earn the adoration of my students, and established whole-class breaks in the middle of those long blocks.  Everyone gets to use the restroom, stretch their legs, and get a drink.  Benefits?  I am part of that "everyone."  As a side benefit, the kids never ask to go to the restroom, and they are eternally grateful. 

5. Cut yourself some slack. I don't know about you, but I can be awfully hard on myself professionally.  If I didn't create a resource myself, I feel like my students are being cheated.  I try my best to make my own handouts, study guides, tests, etc.  "Book tests" and "worksheets" are like dirty words in my head.  But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  Getting rested is way more important than hand-designing my own study guide, especially when there's an awesome one for $2 at TeachersPayTeachers, or an okay one that comes with the textbook.  And when you're puking up your toenails, it's okay to hand your kids a grammar worksheet and ask them to do it quietly while you sit at your desk and breathe.  I promise.  

6. Accept help when others offer. My school is fortunate in that we have a community college nearby that gives all our county students a free two-year college education provided they meet a few basic requirements.  One of those requirements is community service hours, so we have a lot of recent graduates who come to us looking for easy community service.  When they show up, I'm always ready.  Got a stack of quizzes to be graded?  Done.  Copies that need made?  Done again.  Since the pregnancy symptoms kicked in, I have made it a habit to not turn down offers of assistance.  I also have a sweet teenage niece who loves to grade.  Who am I to stand in the way of her fun?  

7. Use the kids! That 20lb weight limit is tough, considering my teacher bag routinely weighs somewhere closer to 50.  My students (before I announced this pregnancy to them) thought I had suddenly become the laziest person on earth, but who cares?  Several times a week, I ask my students to carry books to and from my car.  When I get home, I rely on my husband from there.  I have a room full of energetic young people; why not make use of them?  

8. Sit down. I am not typically a teacher who spends a lot of class time sitting at my desk.  I'm a pacer.  But during this time of exhaustion and sickness, sometimes I don't mind to pull up a chair.  I know as this pregnancy and my body grow, I'll occasionally need to put my feet up.  No worries!  I am learning how to teach from a seat.  If I feel like I still need a vertical advantage over my kids, I perch on the edge of my desk with my feet in a chair.  

I am certainly not anywhere near the first teacher to deal with early pregnancy symptoms in the classroom, and I can't begin to call myself an expert...  These are just some things that worked for me-- does anyone have any other tips I might have missed?
 photo signature_zpsbe0f1799.png

THANK YOU MEGAN, AND CONGRATULATIONS!  I remember the early weeks of pregnancy in the classroom oh so well - I kept a trashcan in my closet for the occasional urge to puke and ate ALL the time. I also remember that some former students showed up at my house to Christmas Carol at like 2 in the afternoon one day over Christmas break and I had - clearly - not been out of the bed yet that day.  It was at that point that I knew my secret was out of the bag! Haha. These are great tips and many of them will serve you well as you make the transition to a full blown working mama next school year (especially #4).  Good luck girl, you will do great!

Follow along with Megan's pregnancy and be inspired by her awesome ideas and enthusiasm for teaching at her blog M*Print.


P.S. If you liked this, come back tomorrow as Molly shares some advice on preparing for and returning from maternity leave!)
 


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