Thursday, December 10, 2009

Public Humiliation (For Kathryn)

My sister and I honestly shouldn't be allowed to go out in public together, especially not when the situation calls for anything exercise or food related. Case in point: Two years ago we decided to book a joint session with a personal trainer at our gym. The trainer turned out to be very short (in stature) and a little ridiculous. Individually, I would have been very mature and polite to this man. BUT, Kathryn kept saying such absurd things that I spent most of the session laughing so hard I couldn't hold even two pounds. For example, she made him hold a pack of gum for her while she lifted weights and "reward" her after each rep with a new piece. (Really, who does that?) Anyway, we caused such a spectacle that for months afterwards we had to sneak in and out of the gym and avoid said trainer at all costs.

Ok. Flashforward. Yesterday. Weight Watchers meeting.

We already are outcasts in the group. Everyone else is close to double our age and take their weight loss very seriously. We, on the other hand, have lost a combined total of approximately 5 pounds in ten weeks. (Look, don't judge. We'll get serious after the holidays!) In addition to this obvious difference, Kathryn usually does work during the meetings and makes fun of me for nodding in agreement or trying to actually participate. Yesterday's meeting was one of the worst to date...
The topic was STRESS and our fearless leader asked us to identify things we can do to cope with stress besides food. People were saying very generic things like "go for a walk," "read a book," etc. etc. Then, I (very excitedly) yelled out "shopping!" Kathryn thought this was hilarious and preceded to make fun of me under her breath for the next five minutes. THEN, with no warning, she calls out "SEX." Yep. I died.
I did not stop laughing the rest of the meeting. Only my sister would say this in a public meeting with women old enough to be our mothers.

Next week we are going to try out a new meeting. Time to recreate ourselves. The topic is PERSEVERANCE, which also happens to be the word Kathryn has tattooed across her neck. I think she should tell everyone she put it there to keep herself from overeating. I'll let you know how that goes.

P.S. Don't tell Poppy we've only lost 5 pounds... He is very strict about our commitment to WW. Oh, and also don't tell him about Kathryn's tat. Thanks!

1 comment:

  1. Finally, you wrote about me. hahahaha!! <3


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