Monday, May 3, 2010

Not Me Monday: Nashville Edition

I'm back at McMama's participating in "Not Me Monday" again... It's been a while.  Read on to hear about all the things I DID NOT do this weekend on our vacation to Nashville...

I did not take a 7+ hour road trip in a minivan with my entire family this weekend, only to be part of the Great Flood of 2010 in Nashville, TN. 

We did not have to sign family "behavior contracts" before departure to keep us from killing each other along the way.  Actually, we NEVER have any drama.

Kathryn did not tease her hair upon arrival in Nashville because she was in the country music homeland.  And, our friend Peggy did not accidentally put red lip liner on her eyes because the car mirror was so far away when she put on her make-up.

Later, I definitely did not sing karaoke on a bar in a place called "Lonnie's" with my sis and our fearless host Alex.  I assure you, this experience was torture for me, and I did not secretly LOVE pretending to be a star for one lovely rendition of "Dust on the Bottle."

On Saturday, we did not wake up to one of the biggest rains/floods in Nashville in forty years!  We were THRILLED about this because it was PERFECT for tailgating and getting in the "beach" spirit of Jimmy Buffet.
As a result of said rains, we did not take a 90 minute detour because so many main roads were closed. We also, don't worry, did NOT get evacuated to the back warehouse of the Kroger to sit while the TORNADO WARNING passed.  There were not abandoned grocery carts everywhere.  And, they definitely did not offer us bottled water and cookies while they held us hostage.

We totally let a little rain RUIN our weekend and did not have any fun at all.

In fact, we didn't even tailgate under a bridge during a torrential downpour... We were so miserable, that we did not grill ribs and shrimp, and make friends with other Buffet fans who gave my mom and Peg a tattoo.  Jeff also did not buy two new pairs of authentic cowboy boots as his birthday treat to himself.  He is WAY more practical than that!

On the way into the concert, Kathryn did not get hit on by several men.  My dad and Jeff did not pretend to be her body guards.  One of the men definitely did NOT slap my dad on the butt... twice.  I also did not feel hideous because I was wearing the grungy t-shirt I slept in the night before instead of the cute sundress I'd stressed over choosing all last week.  I felt beautiful and "dewy."

Inside, I was not obsessed with the ridiculous fans, and I did not have a crush on Jimmy Buffet - both of which were old enough to possibly be my grandparents!! It was not a wonderful concert, and I did not have an absolute blast.

Finally, after the concert, we did not get stuck running down the main strip of Nashville in the hardest rain ever.  We were not totally soaked to the bone.  And, I promise, Jeff and I did NOT ride home - in the minivan with my entire family - wearing no pants because our jeans got SO disgusting.  No WAY!

It was not one of my favorite weekends in a while! ;)

("Not Me Monday" aside:  I want to express my sincerest sympathies and prayers for Nashville.  It really is a serious thing going on there right now, and I am thinking about all the families effected by the devastation!)

Stay tuned... A special SOUTHERN EDITION of BACHELOR OF THE WEEK is up next!


  1. As a Nashville native, I'm glad you did NOT have a good time! :)

    Lonnie's is a fun place...especially after a few!

    Glad y'all are safe! Thanks for the prayers...Nashvillians need all you got!

  2. Glad you had a good weekend, despite the weather!! Nashville is one of my most favorite places, the devastation breaks my heart.

  3. Hilarious post. I am also a huge Jimmy Buffett fan!

  4. If that had been the first time you two pulled your pants off b/c you had wet them, I would have been surprised.
    But I remain unmoved.

  5. Hahahahahahahaha! i love your not me mondays... always sooo entertaining! glad you made the most of the weekend :) xx

  6. Confession: did you secretly love that there was a flood (death and devastation aside) so that you would have some excellent material for Not Me Monday?! I suspect so :)

    Glad you guys had so much fun! Davey is going to be so jealous of Jeff's boots... he was paralyzed by indecision (and price tags) while we were there and came home empty-handed.

  7. I heard about the flood! Glad you had a fun adventure anyway.



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