Saturday, July 31, 2010

Wedding Guest Dos and Don'ts

Unless you are living under a rock, you've been hearing about Chelsea Clinton's big day today!  (Poor girl, some of the most awkward, unflattering pictures of a person I've ever seen are ALL OVER the news today... Luckily, she's turned out just adorable!)  I admit, I'm soaking it all up.  I'm a sucker for a big wedding!

Anyways, as your resident professional wedding guest (wedding number 5 for the summer is next weekend), I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a few Wedding Guest Dos and Don'ts. (I guess I should clarify that these are just my personal opinions... But, I happen to think they are pretty legit.)


- RSVP!!!  Please don't pretend that you can't operate email or a cell phone... This is one of the easiest and most helpful things you can do to help out a stressy bride, but it seems like people hardly ever do it on time, or at all.  (This goes for showers and parties too!)

- Send your gift through the mail either before or after the wedding.  This isn't a huge deal, but I do think it's nice.  As pretty as your package looks on the gift table at the reception, it's actually kind-of a nuissance.  Believe it or  not, most couples don't even look at their gifts until after the honeymoon, so the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and family of the bride are left lugging around big gifts after a late night of celebrating.  (This is especially important for couples who are getting married in a city other than the one they live in.  Major.Pain.)

- Get to know the families and make over the parents of the bride and groom. One of my favorite things about weddings is meeting the couple's families and friends from other walks of life.  I think this is such a special thing to be a part of.  Make an effort to meet some people that are close to the bride and groom (this is usually the intention behind awkward seating arrangements... just go with it).  AND, love on the mom and dad of the bride (especially).  I like to think the MOB is the 2nd most important girl there - be sure to tell her how nice she looks and hug the bride's daddy -- it's an emotional (and expensive) day for him too!

- Wear white (or any shade in the white family) to a wedding.  I'm sort-of passionate about this one.  Recently, I have seen this more and more at weddings, and I just think it's inappropriate. There aren't many times a girl gets to wear a white dress other than her wedding... Please let her own that moment!  I'd also argue that you shouldn't wear white to the rehearsal or any wedding events... I'm sorry, I know you have a killer dress, just save it for a summer party! (I wear my cute white "getaway dress" from our wedding every June for our anniversary dinner.  Just an idea!)

- Occupy the bride and groom for more than five minutes.  I'm just going to say it: I think it's annoying when people try to carry on an indepth conversation with the couple during the reception.  Honestly, they love you - that's why you are there - you don't need to confirm it by seeing how much attention they will give you at the wedding.  This is not your day.  They have a lot of people to say hello to... Just give a quick hug, smile, and "you're beautiful."  That's perfect! (P.S. I'm guilty of this sometimes, I confess.)

- Change your RSVP. Umm... If you say you are coming - COME!  If you are invited with one guest, bring ONE GUEST - not your three kids, your sister, and her boyfriend too! I admit that I did some of this before I planned my own wedding, and I feel like I owe those poor brides a huge apology.  Most receptions are paid for PER PERSON about a week BEFORE the event.  Your sort-of close guy friend who is fun to dance with, but wasn't exactly invited, is probably not worth $65.00.  Think about it.

Happy Wedding Day Chelsea!  Hope your guests are on their best behavior!  :)


  1. Totally agree! I saw someone that wore a white dress to my friend's wedding and about fell out of my chair. The only person in white is the bride!

  2. Thats why everyone needs a sister like me when they are getting married... to hold down the fort on people changing their RSVP... im sure you remember what Im talking about! :) love you.

  3. i wore a white suit to my now sister-in-laws wedding when i was still in college...i didn't know the rule...i still shudder about this and apologize to her from time to time. everyone thought i was the wedding coordinator and not a guest--they also probably wondered WHY i wore a white suit in the first place LOL

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