Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dentist

I've decided that I might be one of the only 20-somethings in the world that still goes to the dentist every six months without fail.  I realize that now that I am married and don't live at home, I could probably sneak through life without those uncomfortable bi-yearly cleanings... But, what can I say?  I like habit.  I like rules.  The dentist sends me a reminder postcard every December and every July, and the idea has never.crossed.my.mind to just throw it away.

So, yesterday, I went to the dentist. 

While I was laying there awkwardly in my drool and paper-towel bib, I couldn't help laughing (on the inside) at the difficult job of my hygienist.  I mean, I thought I had a tough job getting people to respond to me when I speak as a teacher.  Sheesh.  Plus, she even has to wear a little mask.
Anyways, here's the gist of our "conversation"...

H: Are you having any problems with your teeth?

Me: I have an ache in the jaw area of my mouth.  It might be sinuses, I don't know.

H: Flip your head upside down.

Me: (Um, weird...) (Flips head over.)

H: Does the pain get worse?

Me: No.

H: Well, then it's not sinuses.  (Looks in my mouth.)  I am noticing some evidence of gritting and grinding on your teeth.  Have you, by chance, been playing a lot of video games?  Because, people get really into their video games and clench down on their teeth.  That's possible.  Have you tried Wii or Wii Fit?

Me: No.  I don't really play video games.  I've been to kickboxing classes - could that count?

H: Yea, that's probably it.  That's pretty intense. - Open - Plus, you are probably taking out a lot of aggression in there.  Are you angry at someone?  I took kickboxing for a few years. - Close - It saved my life once because a man followed me to work and assaulted me. I told him, "Oh, you've messed with the WRONG GIRL" but he was a little pansy and just ran away.  - Open Wide - Pansy Pansy Pansy!  It was kind-of like Jerry Springer.  Do you ever watch that show?  - Close - I just love it.  Haha! It's like: "Hold my jewelry! Hold my jewelry!"  My boyfriend says, "Watch out, I'll sick my girlfriend on you."  He's so funny. Oop, there's a peice of popcorn.  How much weight have you lost since you started kickboxing? - Ok, Open - I used to weigh 95 pounds more than this.  - Ok, looks good.- Try not to clench your teeth so hard at the gym next time.  And, here's a toothbrush.
Credit
Talking to walls is kind-of a speciality of mine, so I appreciate this woman's skill.  I mean, this isn't exactly a conversation you could have planned to use with every patient... She took what she had to work with and RAN with it.  Impressive! 

Now, I'm wondering if I may have a future career in dental hygiene.  Maybe?

10 comments:

  1. Ha that's hilarious she's all over the map!

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  2. Hahaha...that made me laugh. lol. Love u

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  3. Haha, that's great!
    I HATE going to the dentist, but I am always there when the postcard comes in the mail.

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  4. Haha, I had to comment because this post cracked me up! I also go to the dentist every 6 monthes without fail, I figure that makes up for not flossing, ha! My hygenist needs to get with your hygenist because she is always asking me questions while she has her hands in my mouth.

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  5. I have never missed a 6 month cleaning. I am terrified of what would happen if I do! A cavity? EGADS!

    I hate when the hygentist asks all of those questions and you can't really reply with her hand in your mouth. So stressy!

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  6. GOOD story-Love the inserts of "open" and "close" so funny

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  7. Oh my gosh! That is hilarious!!!!!

    I actually went to the dentist yesterday too. I go every 6 months & i'm 32, lol. I actually went every 6 months growing up & then there was a gap of a few years where i didn't go at all (b/c i had been dropped from my parents insurance & i didn't get my own until i got a job with benefits, 4 years later). But now i'm going every 6 months again.

    And yeah - she talks to me & asks me questions - she's so sweet but i'm thinking "um i can't answer you right now... your hands are in my mouth..."

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  8. Looks like you're definitely not alone going every 6 months...I'm also part of that club. I wish my hygienists were as hilarious as yours, though!

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  9. First off you aren't the only one the goes to the dentist twice a year! I go in June and December. I love the dentist probably because they always tell me I have pretty teeth. Your hygienist is hilarious! Mine is the same lady every time and she always talks food. She literally talks about everything she has eaten in the last week. She is nuts.

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  10. I am 32 and never once has it occurred to me that those appointments are optional. Rules are rules! And I quite like my teeth...in my mouth.

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