Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Top Two Tuesday... Relationships

I had something else baby planned for today... But, I thought I'd take a little break and participate in The Undomestic Momma's Top Two Tuesday on relationships - I like talking about relationships (a lot), and I have several (SIX to be exact) friends getting married in the next three months, so I thought this might be fun/helpful.

I'm by no means an expert in relationships, but I have been in the same one for the last ten years... And, I love Jeff even more now than I did then...  So, what are The top two things I've learned about relationships?

1. Be partners - in everything. My husband is my teammate and partner. We don't do everything together (in fact, I quite like having some different interests), but we share everything.  He could probably name all my students and tell you exactly what we are doing in class on any given day.  Likewise, I know when the iPad 2 will be released in stores (March 11), and I can carry on a decent conversation about Call of Duty Black Ops (this is a big hit with my students).   Honestly, this part of being partners came pretty easily; probably because we've literally grown up together.  But, the trickier part has been learning to be a team in our responsibilities to our families, our house, etc.

When I first got married, I truly felt obligated to do EVERYTHING around the house - laundry, cook, clean, etc.  In fact, on top of my first job and adjusting to marriage, I felt a lot of pressure to "perform" these "duties" and really had a lot of anxiety and stress about it.  Jeff has never been a "wife barefoot in the kitchen" kind-of guy, but we naturally fell into these roles early on.  It has only been in the last year or so, that we have truly learned to SHARE these responsibilities and be PARTNERS - even in our house.  Between Jeff's job situation and my utter exhaustion these days, I have stepped back enough and shown myself enough grace, that he has been able to step in.  Acts-of-Service is one of my love languages, so when I come home to a clean house and fresh laundry on Fridays, not only do I feel loved; but, it also frees me to actually spend quality time (his love language) with my husband on the weekend.

We realize that our situation won't always look like this... And, at different times, I'm sure the roles will swap around again.  But, this period in our lives has taught us a lot about partnership, and about serving each other.  I am confident that we will be better husbands and wives, and certainly better parents because of this lesson.

2. Have friends. This is kind-of a soap-box of mine, although I admit I'm not always as good about it as I should be.  But, I've seen so many people trade in their friends for a relationship/marriage, and I think this is really detrimental.  Jeff is my BEST friend... But, no matter how hard he tries, there will always be things he just can't do for/with me.  One of the things I love the most about him, is that he knows when to play comforter/ advice-giver, and he knows when to say, "I think you should call a girlfriend" or "You're due for a trip with the girls."  Honestly, seeing him value my friendships is so special and attractive to me. It is SO important to maintain friendships after you are married - both together and separately - whether it be through Bible study groups, girls (and boys) nights out, or just a weekly phone date with an old bud.  (Someone remind me of this in a few months ok?!?)

June 30, 2007

That's all for today... Go check out more lessons at The Undomestic Momma.  And, come back tomorrow for a little baby "stuff" poll.


  1. What a great post! I totally agree about having outside friends and interests.

    We still grapple with balancing the house work and what I call "the struggle of daily life" but we are learning. Sometimes we get so caught up in it we can't actually enjoy each other - not so much fun.

    So much to learn! But so wonderful to have a great partner to learn it with!

  2. This is beautiful! I couldn't agree with you more on the topic of friendships. It's so important to support each others loves. Great post!

  3. Y'all are so cute! I SO agree with everything you said!

  4. Yes!!! Learning to serve each other is the key to a ggod marriage. What a blessing that you enjoy each other so much. Keep up the good work....Marriage is our biggest blessing.



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