Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Other Side

I don't think I believe in letting an eight week old cry-it-out (today), but sometimes you just have to take a shower... 

I put him on his back in his crib like the books say I should, at least he will be safe here.  I pull out toys - ridiculous because he has never once shown any interest - and his stuffed purple elephant.  I turn on the canned music from his sound machine, and I say a quiet prayer.

There is a few second reprieve when I lay him down - the change of scenery, the light coming in through the plantation blinds.  But, like clockwork, they come again.  He screams out, and then it is full on.  I walk away, but I know the tears are there.

In the shower, I let the water drown out the crying.  I relax, if only for five minutes.  

As I do my final rinse, my body tightens, and I prepare myself for the race - the inevitable ten minute dash from toothbrush to blow dryer to closet while my heart races at the shrieking baby in my background.

I turn the knob and wait for it... But I find silence instead.  Towel-drying, I fight the urge to peek... Surely he has cried his little body to sleep.  The risk is too great, the possibility of five more minutes - too enticing.

Then, I hear it.... 

Only it's not the scream I've grown accustomed to - but a coo, a gurgle, like a morning chat with himself.

Around the door frame, I see him then - smiling, talking, staring at his purple elephant - and now I'm the one in tears.

I don't know if we are all-the-way there just yet; but I saw it that morning - the other side - and it is beautiful.

  

I'm linking this post over at The Extraordinary Ordinary for the first "Just Write" party.  Go visit.

16 comments:

  1. I'm so glad things might be moving in a more positive direction! Believe me, I know it's hard. So hard to wonder why your baby cries so much and you can't do anything to help it. That was how it was with my second. He's a very happy toddler now, by the way!

    p.s. LOVE the new blog look :)

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  2. The crying baby (TOO hard) to the (occasionally) content baby? SUCH A HUGE RELIEF. I'm right there with you, hurrying to shower and feeling those gut feelings. It's a hard road and then suddenly, it gets better. With smiles and coos more and more often.

    Thank you for playing along with me! :)

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  3. My second child was a colicky-nothing-makes-it-better-crier. And oh so many times I was right here with you. The other side is indeed beautiful. Hang on, you're almost there.

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  4. Can I just say I get it? My stomach hurt at the beginning of your post and my sigh of relief at the end was audible.

    Love.

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  5. Oh, this brings it ALL back. The rushed showers, streaming water joining in my own tears.

    This is so beautiful. And I'm hoping there are many moments like this coming your way, and his, soon.

    -Ellie

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  6. This is my first time here. And I have to say, the other side? it really is beautiful. But your post has made me want to do it all over again. The race, the anxiety, everything. Every part of it that hurts, it's still beautiful.

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  7. I felt like I was feeling the emotions with you as I read along. I was so relieved to read the ending- and so glad you're getting to the other side:-).

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  8. your little guy is too cute!

    I've been a follower of your blog forever now - but never commented- until now :) I actually had a question when you ordered your sons birth announcements from u-print... how was the quality? Was the paper heavy? and when I go to print them I can only order a min of 250... am I missing something?! I would love to know what you think! :) chels.wilson@hotmail.com

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  9. what precious little socks! and even better when they're worn by a happy, smiling baby :)

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  10. So cute when babies talk to themselves! I bet you're on the downward slope! And I can relate to hurrying through a shower and freaking out about the shrieks in the background.

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  11. Mine is six months old and he still has moments where I'm not sure if the whimpers will give way to sleep or if he'll cry the whole time I'm in the shower. And that sentence about your heart racing while hearing the baby cry in the background? I so get that!

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  12. Beautifully descriptive and accurate! Thanks!

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  13. I am so glad he found joy! I hope it continues!

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Your comments are what makes this thing fun! I LOVE to hear from you and do my best to respond to everyone! THANK YOU!


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