Tuesday, June 12, 2012

More Mom Advice

Hi friends.  Yes, I have some updating to do after our wonderful weekend with my girlfriends.  Yes, I need to announce a winner from my Boy Oh Boy giveaway (which, by the way, it's not too late to enter).  But, right now, I just need some mom advice...

Sam is going through a weird stage.  Especially this weekend while we were out of town, but at home too, he is screaming and crying just about every time I put him down.  He screams bloody murder when I change his diaper, and is beginning to do this when I sit him down on the floor with toys, in his high chair with food, in his crib for naps, etc. etc. etc.  He just wants to be held ALL the time - that's all it takes to make him stop usually.  I assumed this was separation anxiety (awesome), but I've noticed that it doesn't matter who is holding him, as long as he is held.  It isn't just a Mom thing. 


I'm sure I'm overreacting and this is no big deal, but it is hard.  Especially since I am just starting my new "routine" of being home with him this summer, and I want to be able to enjoy it.  Sam is usually so social and happy.  (He is still definitely happy, but he's mad a lot more often right now.)

This may be completely off, but I'm also wondering if this has anything to do with frustration over not being able to communicate with me.  He is still not really talking (which also makes me anxious, but that's a whole other post), so I feel like he gets mad because he can't tell me what he wants and just screams.  (This would explain the screaming, but not the fact that it stops when he is held, right?)  He might also just be really angry that he still doesn't have any hair. ;)

OK... I'm totally rambling.  I just signed on the computer to Google all this and got overwhelmed by all the random stuff out there.  This is much easier, and I trust you guys a lot more.

So, any ideas? Why do you think this is happening?  What can I do to stop it?

Be back soon... Thanks!

18 comments:

  1. My son is doing the same thing, except he follows me around and is pretty much obsessed with me. I'm hoping this phase ends soon. One thing I have tried is to engage him a little more if I'm doing something since he thinks he should help me. For example, if I am folding laundry and he is whining to be held, I give him a tshirt and let him think he is helping me, which distracts him and makes him think hes included. Doesn't always work, but sometimes.

    With the communication frustration, I felt the same way with Rowen so I went ahead and taught him a few very basic baby signs. One that has really helped us is 'more' becuase he has figured out to use it when he wants more food. After that we introduced about one new sign a week and now he has about ten that he uses regularly to communicate with us.

    Hope this helps!

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    1. Thanks Danielle, that is helpful. It feels good to know I'm not alone. How did you teach Rowen (love that name, btw) the signs. We've been doing "More" and "All Done" with Sam for months, but he doesn't seem to care about them. Maybe we aren't consistent enough?

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    2. Those are two of our favorite. And Rowen didn't seem to care for a while until one day he really wanted more to eat and let us know he had been paying attention!

      I used feeding time sort of as a carrot and stick approach where half way through I would ask him if he wanted more, using the sign, and making him do it with his hands too. Then I would do it again and give him another bite. I didn't do it with every bite because I thought that would just overwhelm him.

      All done is super easy to just work into everything....feeding, diaper changes, bath time, getting out of the car, etc...I also try to make it seem really exciting by clapping a few times to make sure he is paying attention and then showing him the all done sign.

      Consistency is definitely my weak spot as well, so now I even do the signs when I'm talking to my husband just in case Rowen sees it and can associate it with the word. I also know there are some baby sign DVDs out there, but I haven't tried those. Hope this helps!

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  2. I've been lurking for a while now and wanted to comment ...

    I have no idea what the screaming means, but don't worry that he isn't talking yet. My son, Malcolm, didn't really start saying words until he was one and half, and then he really didn't start talking with any consistency until he was two and a half. After lots of worrying on my part, hearing tests, and a speech therapy evaluation, I've come to find that he is totally and completely NORMAL. He just was taking his good old time. Go figure! ;)

    Oh, and we also taught Malcolm signing (starting at about a year and a half) and he loved it! He picked up over a hundred signs when he was at his signing peak. We used a DVD series called "Signing Time" that is pretty good.

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    1. Thanks Emily, I'll have to look into those DVDs. And, I really appreciate the encouragement about the talking... You know how a mama worries! :)

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  3. I think all three of mine went through something like this. Some babies just like to be involved with everything their momma is doing. I know every baby is different, but it helps jack if I sit down on the floor and play with him for a while and then when he starts playing on his own or crawls off I get up and do some housework or whatever.

    Also maybe try letting him sit for a while crying while you do something like load the dishwasher or fold clothes, just so he learns he won't be picked up right away every time he cries. maybe eventually he will learn that it's not worth the effort. I know that sounds mean but he won't remember. Lol

    If all else fails just know he WILL grow out of it. I have three kids and they were/are all three high spirited/ hard headed personalities. It will get easier as he learns to communicate, but I wouldn't worry about talking yet.

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    1. Jena, We do not talk about having THREE kids with spirited personalities around here. I thought that was 100% impossible. ;) (Just kidding!)

      Anyways, thanks for the advice. I think the idea of spending some more "focused" time playing with him; and, occassionally, just letting him cry are both good.

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  4. Sam is wonderful and perfect. There. That's your official advice from your medical friend :) you got nothin to worry about.

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  5. My guy went through a similar phase when he was about 6 months or so. I couldn't put him down without serious screaming. I'm sure you've already checked for this, but maybe he isn't feeling well? The other times my son would get really frustrated was just prior to a new developmental milestone (sitting, crawling, standing, walking...). Is Sam getting ready to move into something new? Regarding the not talking thing, I was also concerned when my baby wasn't "babbling" as much as others his age, but he picked it up eventually. He's still not "talking" as much as the other kids, but I'm sure he'll get there. My mom reminded me the other night of how worried I was that he wasn't rolling over, and within the last couple months (he's 10 mo now) he started crawling, standing AND walking! She was implying I was silly to worry, although I don't think worrying about our babies is silly, but they will develop in their own time. HTH!

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  6. Babies all go through phases. It'll pass. I agree with Lea, there is nothing to worry about, so quit googling!

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  7. Sweetie, Sam really knows how to get what he wants :) He can sense everything about you and he knows that the people he loves will make sure he is held. Sounds like he is very intelligent. Who wouldn't want to be held and loved on all the time? I used to walk around the house with Nathan in a Bjorn(?) carrier.

    "This too shall pass"... oh, the amount of times I heard that! It will but it will suck until it does. Sorry.
    But also remember that he will find his freedom very soon and will not want to be held all the time. It's always bittersweet.

    Kristy

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  8. Coming from someone with no mothering experience, I realize that this may be the wrong advice. Maybe Sam's just adjusting to the new routine and being held makes him feel more secure. And about the talking thing, my friend taught her kids sign language before they could talk with these cool videos. So much frustration was eliminated because they could communicate with their hands when they couldn't use words.

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  9. i don't really know but also maybe related to just now being done nursing? i think you said that you just finished that with him? not sure if that could be related or not, but just a thought. our pediatrician once told me (and it bothered me at first but has given me some splice now), the most predictable thing about kids is that they are unpredictable. so hang in there, and just like everyone else says "this too shall pass!"

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    1. Oooh I agree, maybe related to weaning. He just needs that extra cuddle time he's missing!

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  10. p.s. i know lindsey schubert- that is how i found your blog. in case you were wondering who this random person is. :)

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  11. I emailed you since the comment box and I weren't getting along. :)

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  12. Hey Elizabeth! I don't think I've ever commented on a blog post before, but I thought this would be a good time. Although I'm not yet a mother, I can offer a little advice from a speech language pathologist's experience (albeit brief thus far) regarding Sam's talking. Basically, there are lots of guidelines for the ages when kids should hit certain speech and language milestones. But, in reality, there are huge variations in when this actually happens for each individual child, just like all other areas of development. And, sometimes a child may be a "late talker" and not start talking until a little later than what is considered typical, but still catch up over time. I think the suggestion of teaching signs is great. With the 2 and 3 year olds I see, we use a lot of signs together with speech to give them different ways to communicate. Consistency is important and at first you will have to create situations where Sam will have to use the signs (like using "more" to get more food at meal times). You may also have to take his hands to help him do the signs in the beginning too. I have never used any of the DVDs before, but there is a good website called www.aslpro.com. It has a dictionary that shows you little videos of how to do all the signs. But, you don't have to go overboard with the signs either. I know you all talk and read to Sam a lot, so just keep doing what you're doing and don't worry! Someday in the near future you may wish Sam couldn't talk back to you :).

    ~Whitney Berglund

    P.S. I couldn't figure out how to make my name show up as the "commenter". Clearly, I'm still a blog virgin.

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  13. I have a ten-month-old boy who has just entered this EXACT same phase, and up until now he has been a very social, non-clingy, independent baby, so this was a complete departure for us. My eleven-month-old nephew started this stage about 6 weeks ago, and I thought maybe it was a parenting-style thing right up until my own boy started it too. I think and hope it is just a stage, but regardless know that you're not alone in it! My son does a few signs, though not consistently, and they have not changed this phase. It does make getting anything done very challenging. We have reverted back to the baby bjorn for accomplishing some tasks, and I agree with the mother above who talked about giving the baby a task or a very specific distraction that kind of keeps them involved with what you're doing without being in your arms - e.g. measuring cups to play with while you're cooking, socks to "fold" while doing laundry. Good luck! And let me know if you come up with any pointers too!

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