Friday, October 12, 2012

Lesson 7: Gross Factor

Over the summer, Jeff and I committed a major only-ones-with-a-baby faux pas and took Sam to a bar/restaurant with a group of friends after a kickball game. (See this post if you are already judging.) To be honest, I’m always a little uncomfortable when we bring him along to hang with our childless pals, but this particular night we really stood out with our high chair, stick-on placemat, and excessive amounts of cheerios.  All that aside, our friends are always great about loving on Sam and never make us feel like they wish he wasn’t there, so all was going relatively well.

Until… One of Sam’s honey-graham bunnies accidently made it’s way down the wrong tube and a major coughing/chocking fit ensued.  Yes, I was a little nervous; but, mostly (because this had happened before) I was embarrassed by the scene we were causing.  Then, in a totally unexpected turn of events, a strange slug-looking tan slime (which was later identified as said ‘bunny’) escaped out of Sam’s NOSE.

At which point, without so much as a second thought, I wiped that nose with my bare hand – right there in front of everyone.  This, much to my surprise, completely disgusted many of the guys sitting at our table.  (The same guys who have absolutely no problem burping or farting at the table, mind you.) Me? Totally un-phased.  A partially digested bunny booger – that’s nothing!

Which brings me to my next lesson…

 Lesson #7: 'Gross' has a whole new meaning in motherhood.

I never would have considered myself a squeamish person, per se; but, being a mom certainly has taken my tolerance for grossness to a new level. I am, in fact, much tougher (and perhaps a bit grosser myself) than I thought…

I’ll spare you the details of listing out all the gross things I can now handle with ease; but, let me just say this… If you are a brand-new mom, you should be warned… The poops you are experiencing right now, (although at times explosive) are ONLY THE BEGINNING.

Veteran mommies (and by ‘veteran’ I mean a mom for longer than two days) what’s the grossest thing you’ve ever dealt with with your child?  Go ahead, share away!  Just TRY to disgust me. ;)

Happy Weekend! 
This post is part of a series for 31 Days of Change hosted by The Nester. To see my other "lessons," click here.


  1. Watermelon vomit was pretty bad ... And on the morning of my birthday, no less!! ;)

  2. I was puked on this morning while we were sitting on the couch (I know she had a bug, because when I went to get her up this morning, she was laying in tons of carrot puke). That crib puke was gross but being puked ON 4 times was pretty gross too. Let me get real gross and tell you that it was pretty much all curdled milk and looked like feta cheese. And surprisingly, greek food still sounds appetizing. haha!

  3. Sometimes my kid pushes his poop out with so much force that he vomits.

  4. I KNOW I can gross you middle child would nap, wake up (unbeknownst to us), poop, take off her diaper and "paint" her crip, wall, arms, legs. DIS.GUS.TING!!! After many tips from a mom forum, what finally solved our problem, was duct taping her diaper! The ends had to meet in the back however or she could still get her diaper off! Store this solution in the back of your brain, I DO hope you never need it though! Come on......admit are TOTALLY grossed out, aren't you?!?

  5. Your post totally reminded me: One time I picked up the newspaper from outside and threw it on the couch really quick so I could put my son down for a nap. When I came back to the couch and picked up the paper, there was a smelly disgusting pile of poo under the paper. I gasped and wondered when my son had pooped on the couch? Did it slide out of his diaper? Why didn't I notice it before?

    Then I realized... it was a squished snail. I almost threw up.

    You know you are a mom when... you would rather have poop smeared on you couch then a smashed gooey snail. HA!

  6. I would have to say when you have the rather large diaper blowout in the car seat....with no extra diaper or wipes to be found because you forgot the diaper bag....are a good distance away from home....the car air conditioner doesn't work and its raining outside....and they are having fun "playing" with this mess....yeah....

    That is when you have the husband release the whole car seat, and I mean the large convertible kind from the back seat and place it directly with child still strapped inside into the bath tub. Oh the crevices that stuff finds its way into!

  7. I can't really think of anything that terrible, which makes me think that I have developed a very strong stomach over the last 2 1/2 years. I'm also lucky that my gals have never had a stomach bug (knock on wood), so I've never dealt with vomit or diarrhea. Also, my daughters were fierce spitters as infants, so I got over a lot of the ickiness of babyhood very early on.

  8. Carolyn Watson DubischOctober 14, 2012 at 9:11 PM

    The bigger they get, the bigger the poops. Just wait till he's 2 and half.... Now that's a diaper!


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