I really don't want this to be a whiny post. But, let's be honest... It probably is going to be. (Thankfully, I feel like I've had a good bit of sappy/happy posts recently, so we are due one like this. Right?)
I'm tired because Sam has terrible allergies and hasn't slept soundly in a few weeks.
I'm tired because, when he is awake, he is all over the place.
I'm tired because school has been busy, and I've felt some pressure there.
I'm tired because I stay up too late and wake up too late.
I'm tired because my house is such a wreck and my to do list is so long, that just the thought of it makes me exhausted.
BUT, mostly, I'm tired because I'm not taking care of myself.
I take a nap most afternoons instead of getting out in the sunshine.
I don't take vitamins and I drink way too much caffeine.
I eat a lot of junk food, and I don't exercise.
How's this for being honest?
For a while, I just wrote this off as "my life" now. I have a job and a toddler and a house and a lot of responsibilities. This is just the way things go. But that view can't be right. It makes me grumpy and discouraged and NOT the mom/wife/teacher/daughter/friend I want to be. Honestly? I'm sick and tired of being tired.
I want to be realistic about my expectations for myself. I don't have to be a size 2 or be able to run marathons, and I definitely don't need to have a spotless house or a gourmet meal every night. But, I DO want to be the best version of myself I can be...
I want to feel good and be comfortable in my skin.
I want to have energy to play with Sam and actually do things when he is sleeping.
I want to wake up early, well-rested, and spend time being still before my day starts.
I want to make my house a space I'm not embarrassed of when friends pop in, make healthy meals for my family, and love my husband well.
Is that too much to ask?
I'm marking today as a fresh start, and I'm writing this here as a form of confession and accountability... I'm going to get good sleep, cut-down (significantly) on caffeine, take a vitamin, exercise, and pray more.
Can you relate to this place I'm in? What advice do you have?