Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Midweek Confessions 9/25

Well, it's almost four hours after the time I said this would be posted (#storyofmylife); but, better late than never, right?

- I live in constant fear of being asked if I am pregnant.  No, this is not the most horrible accusation in the world, but I am NOT pregnant (and I'm well aware of the pooch of fat around my mid-section).  I don't know what it is, but something about my age/ the fact that Sam is two now (and maybe that I sometimes look pregnant), has made me quite paranoid about this.  I feel like people stare directly at my stomach when they talk to me, and I instinctively suck-in my belly with every tiny whisper from my students, etc.  For the first time in my life, I'm actually relieved when there is alcohol at a party because by drinking it, I'm dispelling any rumors that might be floating around (or just being further judged).  It's a bad place; and, the way I see it, I have only two options for escape: 1. Do a lot of crunches, or 2. Actually get pregnant (neither of which seem particularly appealing right this minute).

- Wearing maxi skirts is a little dangerous for me.  Twice in the last week or so, I have worn a maxi skirt and found myself getting my feet all tangled up in it and almost falling down the stairs.  It figures, fashion is always risky for me... I'll just add this to the list next to high heels and false eye-lashes.

- I let food go bad.  Yesterday was my mom's birthday (Happy Birthday girl!), so I invited my parents over for a simple dinner last night.  That afternoon, in preparation, I even ran by the grocery store before heading home to meet the sitter.  I had everything I needed to prepare a delicious spinach lasagna and a birthday cake, Pretty Little Liars on the laptop (duh), and a sleeping baby - I was all set.  Unfortunately, the universe is against my cooking (and wearing high fashion clothes, obviously), and I was disappointed to find that the half bag of spinach in my fridge had gone completely bad (and even more disappointed to find that using it when it has gone bad can lead to e coli poinsoning and a host of other really terrible things I didn't really feel like giving my mom for her birthday).  So... plain lasagna it was.  THEN, I went to get out eggs for the cake and noticed that the expiration date on the carton said APRIL.  (I honestly don't know how this happened, or how many people I have poisoned in the last four months.) Just to be sure, I did a series of tests from the internet on the eggs which included balancing them, shaking them, and floating them in cold water, and decided against using the eggs too.  (Thank goodness for good neighbors.)  Cooking FAIL.

- I am rude and awkward. This is a little hard to put into words and probably not worth the attempt, but whatever... On my way home from the grocery store yesterday, I was waiting to make a left turn out of the parking lot onto the main road.  This required that I cut through two lanes of traffic currently backed up waiting for a stoplight.  When the line started moving, I was happy to see that a kind soul was waving at me - presumably to signal that she was going to let me go.  I gave a quick wave of thanksgiving and began to gas my car.  BUT, at that very moment, the kind soul also gave her car some gas - presumably to go ahead and NOT wait for me.  When she noticed her mistake, she stopped, gave me a look of apology, and attempted to wave me on; but, by this point, it was too late.  Cars were coming in the other lanes from both sides.  I don't usually have road rage, but this really frustrated me; so, I gave her the annoyed shoulder shrug (with both palms in the air, do you know what I'm talking about?) and a scowl.  Obviously she had ruined everything.  Once we had help up traffic long enough, she proceeded on, but not without another friendly wave - and that's when it hit me: I KNEW HER.  She hadn't been waving initially to tell me that I could go ahead of her, she had been waving a pleasant hello because we KNOW EACH OTHER.  So... Not only did I get myself all in a huff and cause I traffic jam, but I also was rude to a friend.  Ugh.

Ok, I think that's enough shame for one day... Care to join the fun?  Please link up below!


  1. april?! omg, theres no way those eggs have been in your fridge that long, you obv bought a bad carton :p as for dinner, it's the thought that counts. and I would have done the same thing in the car, except with the addition of more rage, and more shame afterward. xoxo

  2. Ahhh that last one is definitely cringe-worthy but understandable. I swear I turn into a different person in the car. I'm terrified of screaming something inappropriate and then hearing my two year old repeat it. On a loop, because that is what she does.

  3. I'm pretty sure Sawyer's first words may be "seriously dude?" and/or "move it or lose it" from my constant complaining at slow drivers while in the car. We all do it.

  4. I have a love/hate relationship with maxi skirts, too! I love the look of them and how comfortable they are BUT I always get them caught in my rolling chair at school! I'm constantly trying to pull them out from under the wheels when I go to get up, I'm just waiting for the day when I fall flat on my face in front of my fourth graders or rip my skirt from pulling too hard! Haha!

  5. I realize it's too late to matter now, but there are lots of good substitutions if you don't have eggs when baking. Sometimes a banana will work, other times ground flaxseed mixed with a little water does the trick. I can't remember all the exact measurements, but a quick google search should give you the answer, you know, for future reference. I mostly know all this because there have been times (pre-kid) when I'd have to make more than one trip to the grocery store in one day because I didn't have an ingredient or because something I *knew* I had was no longer edible. You live and learn, I guess!

  6. i love these confessions! when i wear my maxi skirt i found that when i walk if i lift it up just a little it helps me an awful lot. i'm way less likely to accidentally trip/make a fool of myself. i'm right there with you with getting a little road rage when driving, i don't know what happens but i definitely turn into a much more aggressive, rude, and impatient person when i'm driving. you aren't alone! have a good end of your week!

  7. what a good idea with the confessions!!!! so funny! hmmmm...I have a confession. I'm kinda spiteful, but you'd never know it! Last time my mother in law was here, she made a comment about how we never have handtowels hanging up, so she brought her own. (mind you, everyone in my house had been sick up until like the day before they came. So, hello! All my handtowels were in the laundry room where I had been washing them FOR YOU!) So, know what? I held all my handtowels hostage and didn't give her one to use all week. That's what you get!!!!

  8. Argh. My mid section is the NEMESIS of me. I swear, three days last week I looked five moths pregnant. I finally took a water pill and the bloating went down, but it was awful. I feel your pain.

    - Ronni


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