I think this counts as a confession...
Not long ago, Jeff and I kept a neighbor's little boy for a very short amount of time so he could deal with a car issue. Let's just say Little Man wasn't having it, and he spent the entirety of that short amount of time absolutely wailing. I held, I coddled, I distracted with silly faces and our most favorite toys, but nothing could calm him down. And, as ashamed as I might be to admit this, I couldn't help thinking "if only he had a pacifier..."
See, in our house, pacis rule. (As if you didn't know that.) Really, Sam is a pretty good kid these days, but even the occasional meltdown is pretty easily managed with a pacifier. Dude LOVES them. In fact, he has chewed through all three of his Wubbanubs now, and we are struggling to manage with just regular old pacifiers... Sure, we try to limit its use to crib/car/crisis; but, sometimes we splurge a little bit. Seriously, I've become a FIRM believer that we might just find world peace if adults used a pacifiers. (Think about it.)
And now, as we approach Sam's second birthday (howintheworld?), I'm all kinds of conflicted about the pacifier:
On the one hand, two seems like a reasonable time to give it up with no real stigmas attached to the "big kid" that still has a paci in his mouth. (Look, I've judged it before too.) It also seems early enough that no real damage will have been done to his teeth yet (let's hope), and he'll probably grow up to be a functioning member of society. Not to mention, I'm home in the summer, so it is the prime opportunity to go through the dreaded "three days" of misery it might (read: WILL) take to wean.
BUT... On the other hand, Sam still really likes the pacifier. He's a good napper, a good night-time sleeper, and he doesn't cry all that much. Why rock the boat? Plus, letsjustbehonestforaminute, Mama likes the pacifier. It has become my #1 parenting tool since the early throes of colic and, well, let's just say it is probably just as much my crutch as his.
What will I do when we are in the car he won't stop crying?
How will I soothe him back to sleep in the middle of the night?
How will I ever get through another phone call or grocery trip again in my life?
Last night, after we did our nightly walk through the house gathering up random pacifiers to take to bed, it occurred to me that whether Sam is ready to give up the paci or not (I'm voting not), I don't think I am ready. Maybe my attitude will change soon (hopefully before he starts Kindegarten at least), but for now, I'm not in a hurry to break the addiction. I'm just not.
Does this make me the worst mom ever? Maybe. (Probably not.) But, we choose our battles as moms all the time. And, well, if pacifiers are wrong, I don't want to be right. :)
P.S. In unrelated confessions, I only put eyeshadow on one of my eyes today. #Whathashappenedtome?