Monday, August 31, 2009

What's Black and White & Walked All Over?

Today, to introduce a unit on Reading Strategies for my "Test Taking Skills" class, I led students on a scavenger hunt around the classroom. I had written out little riddles on paper that led them from one area in the room to another.

For one of the clues I wrote: "What's black and white and walked all over?" This was the black and white rug in my classroom - of course! BUT, upon reading the clue aloud, one of my little smarties yelled out: "MEN. They be black and white, and they always get walked all over!"

Haha. The wise words of teenagers.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Hi Ho Hi Ho...

It's back to work I go!

I've been catching a lot of slack for not updating my blog lately. My apologies to all seven of my loyal blog followers! :) Hopefully, now that school is back in full swing and I'm beginning to catch a life again, I will get back on track with my updates.

So, today is my third day of my third year of teaching. Happy Golden Anniversary to me! :) So far things are going well. I have my own classroom this year - which is a HUGE step-up from the "Rolling Thunder Show" that was my cart. It is decorated in bright colors, Christmas lights, a couch, and leopard print... VERY 1970s brothelish -perfect for learning. I also have really excellent students - I'm lucky, what can I say?

I am still reflecting a lot on my style advice from a week or so back. Today, I dressed in my ultra preppy Lily Pulitzer dress, only to turn on the lights in one of my classes and have a student act as if she was blinded and say, "WOW, your dress is SO BRIGHT." I'm not really sure whether that is a compliment or not.

Also, last weekend I went over to visit Granny and Poppy and found my sister sitting on the floor with a towel spread out and TONS of make-up. Honestly, she could have painted the faces of an entire Miss America Pagent. Lucky me - I had won a free makeover! I left looking quite orange and glistening, or, in the words of Poppy: "You look different. You look good." Awesome.

Anyways, there's an update for now. I will try to post more (including pics of my classroom)soon.

Until next time...

Friday, August 14, 2009

Style Intervention

Yesterday, I was invited to what I thought was just a casual lunch with my mother and sister. Had I known this was going to be a style intervention, I might not have worn my yellow "moomoo" dress. (Who am I kidding? I actually THOUGHT I looked pretty cute.)

To start with, Kathryn and my mom had some advice to share with me before my 2PM hair appointment. According to them, I had "let myself go" recently and needed a new "edgier" hairdo. I believe my mom even suggested I go for the "Kate Gosselin" style --- I remember the days when I wanted to look like Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Aniston... Now, it is a divorced mother of eight. Wonderful.

After Kathryn convinced my mom that I wasn't the least bit "edgy," and that my typical bob-with-bangs made my face look too round, we had a long discussion about the importance of me using PRODUCT (a.k.a. sticky goo) in my hair to make it less "frizzy." Another self-esteem boosting image.

Then it was on to my make-up. This caused some drama because mom and Kathryn had different views. My mom told Kathryn she had make-up lines (and proceeded to wipe them off in the restaurant) and Kathryn told her she had "wrinkle lines" - take that! Ultimately, it was decided that I need to wear more make-up. The problem is... I WANT to wear make-up, I just sweat A LOT. Every morning - ok, at least the mornings when I am working or doing something else "social" - I shower, blow dry and straighten my hair (occasionally even adding a little shine goo or something), and put on a full face (eyeliner and all) of make-up - except lipstick... I will never stoop to that level. THEN, approximately two hours later (if I'm lucky) I look like I just got off of a rollercoaster - my shirt is wrinkled, my hair is a mess, and I have NO make-up. I don't know where it goes... My body hates me. For example, it LOVES to soak up and hold on to such unpleasant smells as cigarette smoke or mexican food, but absolutely refuses to keep perfume, body spray, or even a little blush. Any tips on this problem are gladly accepted; but, I honestly don't think MORE make-up is the answer.

By the end of the conversation my mom had labeled me as a "Wilderness Woman." This is interesting since I was wearing giant pearls, gold sandals, and a dress... but whatever...

Long story short, I got a haircut. I pretty much just look like Ramona Quimby Age 8. Here is a picture of her - for you visual learners:


I am going to work on being more "polished" this school year... but, I am making no promises. Mom and Kathryn, I know your hearts were in the best place. Thank you for loving me enough to kindly point out my unfortunate genes. At least you think I have good finger nails!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Extreme Hospitality

Tonight I had an icecream social.

One of the guests asked if she could take a bath in our tub. (Note: She came fully prepared with a towel and change of clothes.)

She is currently soaking upstairs - candles and all.

I will not be posting pictures of this event; however, if you want to laugh... Please imagine Jeff's face when I told him.

Hilarious.

My life is very odd.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Photo Op?

So after yesterday's entry, Jeff told me I needed to "get out" more so that interesting things happened to me. Little did I know...

Less than an hour later, my friend Katie & I were running down the street, when we saw a friendly looking man with a rottweiler standing in his yard smiling from a mile away. This man looked so happy - how could I just run right past?

Being a friendly neighbor,I allowed Addy to sniff the rottweiler (Gus)'s rear end and introduced myself to this nice man. We made small talk for a few minutes and he said he had just moved into this house about a month ago. I preceded to tell him EXACTLY what house I lived in and my full name. *Katie also introduced herself and I'm pretty positive he thought we were lesbians, because he then kept referring to us as "Elizabeth & Katie Chapman." Awkward.

Then, out of nowhere, this man pulls out a digital camera & asks if he can take our picture. WHAT?!? Now, in hindsight, I realize there were plenty of ways for me to get out of this situation... but at the time I felt trapped.

Me: "Um......."
Van (that's his name): "I know this is weird, but I run a greeting card business & I'd like to make you a personalized greeting card."
Me: "Ok"

With that, Katie, Addy, and I proceeded to "pose" for what he kept calling "a family photo." Is this so strange or what?

Long story short, we ran off and left this man with not only my full name and address - but also a picture. I'm probably on some creepy bulletin board somewhere as "the lesbian family down the street."

Why do these things happen to me?

Good news, he didn't come kidnap me last night... so I'm probably safe. Still - if I disappear any time soon please send the police to find Van with the rottweiler. Thanks.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Road Rage

I honestly did not set out to make this blog "The Poppy Chronicles" - however, I'm sure one day it will be a treasure to have all these memories written down. So... without further adieu, I bring you: ROAD RAGE.

To set the scene...

THIS is what Poppy was wearing when I showed up to take him to his doctor's appointment yesterday. Not only was it plaid-on-plaid (a HUGE fashion no-no), but the shirt was stained and he had missed a few buttons at the bottom. After he told me my shirt made me look "PG" (which means pregnant - awesome), I finally convinced him to change clothes before we left.

Later, on the way home, a white mini-van cut me off in the turning lane and I had to slam on my breaks to avoid hitting it. I, being an awful driver myself, wasn't really phased by this. Poppy, however, was FURIOUS. Immediately he began mumbling about terrible women drivers and literally INSISTED that I pull up next to this derelict driver. (You do NOT argue with an old man... it isn't worth the energy.)

Upon doing this, we realize the the driver is, in fact, an old lady. She can barely see over the steering wheel and has a handicapped sign dangling from her rear view mirror. This, in itself, was plenty of reason for me to forgive and drive on. But Poppy - without warning - began BANGING on my passenger window, pointing his finger at the lady, and yelling crazily at her. Awesome.

I drove off as fast as I could, but I am haunted this morning by the trauma we must have caused this poor little lady. So - if any of you know a white mini-van driving granny in the Roanoke area... please express my deepest apologies for my cranky Poppy. There is just no controlling him!

Until next time...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Addy's Wish List

Addy MUST have one of these before the cold winter months... any takers?





P.S. Jeff says I need to add that I'm not serious about this... Just in case you really think I'm a freak. Thank you!


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